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Nope, she supposedly came here for advice but is just arguing with everyone in the comments. Typical
In a partner i want someone who will express their emotions to me
But you tell your BF the exact opposite of this when you ask him to be like (emotionless) Connor.
I used to have a thing against dating apps, but I’ve never tried one, so I think I’ll take your word for it and give it a shot!
I tried the gym hot. Tried tennis majority of ladies where married in the club asked out the only 20s girl I played with and she stopped talking to me lol. Never thought of a book club.
Nope it’s really not. I think by being honest and open about our wants and needs didn’t actually mean anything to him. I’m realizing that now.
Kick her out, she is a leech
Open relationships are a '2 yesses' situation. If one partner is hesitant or not interested, it won't work out and will go toxic. Personally, I think that once one partner has asked, if the answer is 'no' then the relationship is probably over, because the 'no' person is now aware that the other person is keen to shag around.
I'm doing alot to recover..the drugs have stopped. I'm going to differnr programs and therapy to be better and never have a breakdown again
I just wish I could tell her about it and that no matter what she did to hurt me I forgive her and that I'll always be there if she's needs me. I screwed up our good goodbye and if there's anything that could help me in the short term it's just ending off like how we should have before I broke down.
Esp around the holidays..like I know one of us will reach out and say merry Christmas and that is fine but I want to to be a longer conversation and maybe it shouldn't be. It should just be hey merry Christmas..back and forth about that and that's it.
I hate knowing sometimes it's the last time your going to speak to someone..
As attractive as she is..and everything she Is as person and care giver and potential mother..I love how we talk and how it's so natural and fluid..I've fallen in love with her more doing all the talking in person and on the phone then how I loved her when we were physical and intimate and going on silly dates.
It's real once in a lifetime kind of connection and just can't accept that I should really be angry at her for what she did the last of it..it doenst erase what we had for the majority
So your wife is finally feeling better after struggling with mental illness for years, but you know better than her doctor, and you don’t like it. Got it.
I know you don’t feel like this right now….but you are so young and at the start of your life you have so much ahead of you this won’t even be a big deal to you in a few years. It’s not the end of the world, let her go and work out what you’ve learned from it, apply it and continue living your life – its a teenage romance!
Dude, she’s not even your girlfriend…
Same I’m religious and I have some religious guilt when it comes to sex (bc I think it’s supposed to be done in a relationship or a long term one at least) but masturbating is no where in the Bible…
I agree with you, I guess I just was blinded. I learned my lesson though, that’s for sure.
Another approach is to tell her she should look at job hunting as a full time job. But if she isn't doing that, could you she do a little more of the housework?
being bi doesn't entitle him to sex and sexting outside of marriage ….. there needs to be a long discussion here
And you should be with someone who wants you. Stop asking yourself what she wants and why she wants it. Ask yourself why you are staying with someone who doesn’t deserve you.
Does she normally not notice things going on around her when she is talking to people? Some people focus on one thing and kind of tune out other senses. Does this sort of thing happen when she is drunk that she doesn’t notice things? Does she have an alcohol problem that she is drinking a lot but seems so functional that you don’t notice how drunk she actually is? Is she usually touchy feels with friends or normally reserved? Someone who is very physically reserved would be hot pressed to not notice, where as someone who is very huggy and used to sitting close to people might not register it.
It is completely normal for one person to say how could you not have noticed the baby was crying, the stuff on the stove was burning, the baby was using Sharpie on the couch right next to you, the car was out of gas, the baby’s diaper leaked on your shirt, you never made the rent payment, etc. Couples fight about what they can’t imagine the other person not noticing. You can figure out, however, what kind of person you think your girlfriend is.
You have 2 choices.
A. Accept it, agree to wait, then RESPECT her choice, no boundary pushing, no convincing, no cheating, nothing but acceptance and patience; or
B. Break up.
That's it. Those are your choices. There's no option C, no matter what crafty idea you come up with.
Make a discord group and invite them all except for him.
Hangout with them without him.
Basically just do the same and exclude him? Why let him decide whether you can interact with them or not?
Correct! Be open, kind and polite.
… that's normal? My friends and I must have missed the memo…
For a bit of context I ( 23 F) and my boyfriend (35 M) have been in a relationship for about 2 years.
And it's not what you expect, is exactly the opposite.
That's exactly what I expected. He's too immature to date women his own age so he's going after someone 12 years younger than he. If he can't handle getting a gift explicitly laid out to him to buy then he just doesn't care. Do you know how many men I know that would be ecstatic if their partners just told them what they wanted?
You asked for roses and chocolates. He gave you tulips and McDonald's.
He's not going to get an IT job. He's not going to do anything inconvient for him. He's simply not putting in the effort.
She's seriously the kindest person youll ever meet. She just *couldn't*.
He has to have the wrong person, but he insisted so much he has to be convinced
What did you expect? You married a child.
No I agree that’s true. My friends are telling me that I’m not being sensitive to her trauma of her childhood but I’m thinking to myself “what trauma?!”
My initial thought is that he’s seeing someone and she saw that he sent me something and I had a feeling it was her who asked the question.
I might be wrong as I’m really clueless.
But thank you so much for this. I appreciate it.
If you go over that whole conversation objectively, it is very manipulative, condescending, and controlling. And not based on any facts. You did nothing wrong! If this conversation is similar to other conversations you have then I think you would be better off with someone not so self absorbed.
Yep. That's the hot truth. You hear of these people moving past infidelity and coming back stronger, and that is what he told me he thinks is going to happen to us. But real life is messy and if that trust is once broken it can never be repaired the same. I feel like a fool for even hoping that. Thank you
You say i see signs signs everywhere. Do you mean what i see is genuine or may i making too much of something because i want to find that he is cheating? Do you think someone else with different personality see these signs as suspicious?
parity in financial obligations? All I hear is one person subzidizing another.
Get tattoos and piercings and he can kick rocks. It’s your body. Your self expression.
Thank you!
Be excessively professional. Only talk business around her
If necessary to the conversation mention me and wife. (“We” is perfect) as often as possible
Sis, I’m going to be honest with you, this guy sounds like a loser. I know it’s easy to blame yourself but it sounds like he’s known for quite some time that you’re not his person, but he’s stuck around for convenience. You are better off without him. You will feel intense pain for a while, but maintain no contact and start to focus your time and energy on things that make you happy, and also start building friendships. You got this.
Is that based on her age and the difference or my behavior?
Yeah you’re 18 have fun don’t worry about spending rest of life thing. If you actually want to go down that road though, the best advice I can give you is “beauty is temporary, but personality is forever.”
Why would you want to save this marriage?
The problem is that he isn’t actually communicating with you, he’s just blaming you for any issues you might be having. He’s not a good partner. He wants someone who can read his mind and please him, not someone that he can have a mutually satisfying adult relationship with.