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Stiven, 20 y.o.
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Divorce. Who just fails to mention to their wife they donated their sperm to their stepmom… what the FUCK.
In a relationship, at the end of the day, if you can't agree, then compromise. His views are equally important to yours. It does not matter how stupid others may think your cuddling or his phone-watching is, at the end of the day it is what you want and that's valid.
My advice is to find out what you and he really want. Do you want physical cuddles, or is it the intimacy? Is it the conversation? Just being his center of attention? Knowing your own needs well will help you in finding a compromise you can live with. Same goes for him. Does he want to look at something on his phone? Does he need to relax, take a breather for everything, including talking? Does he want a little bit of space after sex? Knowing this will help you find the best solution.
I hope you get cuddles.
You really typed all that and never actually said what the problem is. You can’t expect to get advice if you won’t say what your “issues” are.
Also, why wouldn’t a good partner want to stop doing something that makes them feel shitty? On some things I can say no they shouldn’t have to change that for you, but on this subject no. You are making you partner feel insecure and less loved, why would you want to do that just so you can watch some damn porn?
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I live with two guys at the time, had more tools than the two of them combined. My dad is super handy and taught both his kids, but as the girl he made sure I knew a lot so I wouldn’t get taken advantage of.
It sounds like you have a need for reassurance that he finds you physically attractive, and you’re sending him these (nude?) photos of yourself specifically because you want to hear that reassurance from him, is that correct?
“Honey, I send you photos because you’re my bf, and I want to make you happy and I also want to know that you find me physically attractive. When you don’t reply and tell me that the pic looks very hot, I think you’re not attracted to me. When you joke about getting pictures from other girls, I feel even worse, and I think you’d rather have someone other than me. I have a need to feel desired and feel that my boyfriend loves me and is attracted to me. Can you talk to me about why you’ve been so resistant to respond to me with things like ‘I kinda like it’ when you know that’s not the kind of thing a boyfriend says to a girlfriend about her pics?”
Kick her out. She has family in the area, she can go mooch off them. As for being alone, find a hobby or an interest that you will now have money for and meet new people. You’re far too young to be this unhappy.
Fake. He literally has a post in another sub basically saying “is it weird I like to troll and get downvoted on Reddit”
Then why didn’t you put that I your story and haven’t you heard “2 wrongs don’t make a right” .
Replace the word “gun” with “knife” or whatever weapon criminals in your country use. Because they do use weapons.
The first step in the relationship is telling her you have a zero tolerance policy for suicide attempts or threats and in the future you’ll be calling the police, a parent or taking her to the ER. Step two, get the fuck out of there and when she pulls the self harm card you pull the zero tolerance card and make her someone else’s problem.
If it's boring then you're doing it wrong
Also depends on exactly where your vacation is
The thing is, all alcoholics are functioning until one day they’re not. By picking up his slack and watching over him, you’re allowing him a little bit longer on the functioning side… but, objectively, you are enabling his alcoholism and shielding him from the consequences of his own actions and choices.
I am not telling you to leave him, I am telling you that things will never be better than they are right now, this is the best of times. It’s steeply downhill from here. Any change in his addiction can only be his, and he seems pretty comfortable with his life and what it’s doing to you both. It’s acceptable to him in exchange for the pleasure and comfort his addiction gives him.
Sounds like she’s not 100% sure she wants to break up. I would advise getting some treatment for your mental illness.
“Breakdowns” don’t sound very sexy.
All jokes have a kernel of truth in them. He is playing mind games, and games are for children. No man is worth this behavior. I learned this at your age. My now ex boyfriend ended bedding the girl. Eventually married her.
I traded up and live my best life
I just can’t imagine knowing someone is in a relationship and then actually still proceeding with something like that. If he is gross, so are you if you don’t end this.
Yeah but the sleeping together thing may also be a recent development, due to her family loss and self destruct mode. She may not have been lying about seeing him in a brotherly way previously.
I am not sure if YOU are the most gullible thing on two legs or if you think that WE are…
To be fair he called himself a male and them females, so it’s at least equal treatment.
If he said he’s a man and they were females it would feel a bit worse. Just my $0.02.
I wouldn't be concerned for your 3 year old daughter, but one day she'll be a teen and bringing her friends home. Can you trust that your wife will be a safe person for those girls to be around? I don't think I could. I'm glad you found support here, best wishes!
> You’re dating someone who ostensibly is barely out of college, hasn’t lived much independent life yet, etc. these age gaps matter more the younger you are.
This is a good point. I think her thoughts are pretty mature overall, but I think the things you point out have a certain effect that is nude to overlook.
Maybe the reason she's responding the way she does is because it's very hot for her to see some of the things that I do and when I express them it doesn't come off right to her.
Thanks for the perspective!
I've heard it from both men and women, the pattern still held. That isn't to say there weren't shitty dads but they weren't lying about the mothers to the kids although I'm certainly not suggesting it doesn't happen, just that it happens less
English isnt my first language so I can not really translate exactly. But along the lines that she likes my kind of personality. And my pictures too