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I think you have to question if her telling of it is actually true to the event. Did you have open ended conversations about being excited to start and family soon, did you know she was off birth control? Etc. If it was kind of an “accident on purpose,” how aware were you that it could happen and did you give any mixed messages or hints that you might be excited for it to happen if it did. I’m not saying people should just proceed with whatever they want to do whenever they receive mixed messages, just that it might be a little easier to forgive her if at the time she thought that you wanted it too. And if she’s been going through a nude time lately, she may be struggling to forgive herself
Not sure I'd describe healing from your traumas as growing a spine but ok.
Do you want to have kids? Do you want to be married? How long do you think you need to date before you decide you want to be married? Do you think this is a person you want to spend the rest of your life with?
These are questions you need to ask yourself ( and answer) before you move forward.
This is a joke
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The whole thing is forced. Because it's something you would clearly like but she clearly doesn't.
Give it back. That's an inappropriate gift from a male friend. Plus he's weird.
Why do you think Angel is less trustworthy about that's best for Rose now, than this literal stranger? She could easily be lying about Angel lying.
You’d be better off supporting her as a friend than a lover, cause it seems like you’ve never really been in love anyway. You can stay connected and still divorce, cause let’s be real, this doesn’t sound like it’s ever been an actual marriage.
Remain her friend, but if divorce is what you need, do it.
I'm really sorry he's hurt you this way, you deserve to be securely loved. Please protect yourself ❤️?
Your wife is gay. She’s repressed cause society sucks
Maybe be supportive and understand that and either become poly and open your marriage or get divorced so she can go be happy with a woman
I’m so curious as to what you’re like in real life. I mean, if you’re not some defective AI bot.
But what about you though? Do you not matter? You are going through a tough time with no support whatsoever. Who’s going to look after you and your needs? What you’re doing is commendable in a way, but you can’t carry the weight of the world on your shoulders forever.
Relationships are give and take and her being depressed is not your problem to solve. What steps has she taken to get out of that depression? You can only truly help people that want to help and better themselves. It’s been 5 years, is this the life you want to online? Best of luck to you man, couldn’t be me.
You talk to her, tell her that you know what her plan is with this other guy, you tell her you don't want to be plan B, some guy that she can fall back on if her crushes don't feel the same and you break up.
Regarding work, during the break up talk, specifically mention work, that it might be awkward for a while and uncomfortable but ask to please keep it professional at work. If issues arise between you during work time, agree to wait with resolving it until after work.
Other then that cut all contact anywhere but at work and keep that professional talk only.
I'm sorry you have to go through this, wish you the best of luck.
That is some psycho ass yandere shit. Run while you can mate
You are still very young OP. Some would say too young to be married and have the responsibility for the upkeep of a house and home. I would strongly suggest that you take measures to ensure that a baby is not added to this sorry mix. I would further suggest that you try your very best to find employment. It doesn’t matter what it is just so long as it increases your independence.
Talk to your parents. Let them know that things aren’t working out very well. Hopefully they will be sympathetic. Your husband is a bullying boor OP. These are not character traits which improve with age and experience. I wouldn’t put a child within a million miles of this man and neither should you.
Your marriage was a mistake. But you can rectify this by resolute action. Do not be bullied or persuaded that things will get better. They won’t. You can do this OP. Good luck. ❤️
Wow he's being an asshole. I have depression and executive dysfunction so I understand what it's like to struggle to do housework at times, my apartment is constantly a disaster (something I am working on getting better at), but it sounds to me like you are keeping things picked up and if things do get messy it's not unreasonably so. Sometimes our mental health just gets the better of us. It's wild that he thinks it's appropriate to hold this over your head. If it was a consistent issue, sure maybe I could see where he is coming from, but taking care of a living space, laundry, cooking, grocery shopping, is a lot to deal with, especially when you are having a bout of more severe depression.
I think the best solution is to have a discussion with him or to look at getting a job outside the house so he cant hold this over your head, and you have money to leave if this toxic behavior escalated further.
You need to include how long you've been dating.
I think having more time to myself would be nice/accurate. Just to decompress away from my children.
Have to look into the mom groups. My youngest is still at home all day so haven't really looked for them yet.
She cheated on you during month 1 of your 3 month relationship. She'd never have told you if you didn't hear it. She also literally told you she wasn't thinking anything of it because she was drunk. What happens next time? Respect yourself enough to walk away. Good luck.
okay..5 year difference…sorry I didn't know it was a crime. Literally read the post.
Just set her free.
Whether or not you want to cut off your parents is your choice, and unfortunately that's not one I can make for you. My parents did a lot worse, but I've chosen not to cut them off. But this is my choice that I made for my own reasons, and it's not something you have to replicate.
The question is: are your parents beneficial in your life right now? Not beneficial as in when they raised you from a baby, but now? Do you enjoy their company? Do you get fulfillment and love from your relationship with them? Because if you don't, or if the negatives outweigh the benefits, you have absolutely every right in the world to cut them off.
But either way, you need to know that your experiences matter. Your feelings matter. What your parents did to you as a teenager was 100% not okay, and you have every right in the world to feel angry. Good for you going to therapy and processing all of those things.
I’m a 46 yr old woman and I’m trying to figure out what the hell you two would have in common and why you’d be attracted to his raggedy ass. Listen, not to be whatever, but he can’t get anybody who will put up with him so he’s robbing the cradle hoping that he can beat you down enough to over look the fact that he’s a 46 year old douche bag. You can do better and he knows it and he’s scared you’ll leave him and that he can’t brag to his friends that he’s dating a 26 year old (I’d bet his friends are grossed out and haven’t told him). Anyway, dump him, he’s obviously an idiot.
It sounds like he was being theatrical. If you'd leave over this..what is the real reason?
Unless you are feeling in actual danger. Or he's made misogynistic comments or actions before then why not just have an open discussion? To throw away a whole marriage over this seems bizarre. There has to be more to this.
Can you imagine someone gets fired from work after being there for a few months. They threaten to kill themselves if they don't get hired back, do you think that company would take them back?
Get this woman out of your life and don't look back. You're too young to deal with this kind of bullshit.
Updateme!
You're 23, by now you should be able to recognise when someone breaks up with you. She's your ex gf now. Enjoy your single life and look for someone better to spend your life with.
You can end a relationship for whatever reason you want
An ex would threaten suicide every time I didn’t do what he wanted. Would scream at me in bed, hit me and it only escalated.
he did this entirely to make me do what he wanted. Else he would die and it would be my fault.
None of it was my fault.
None of this is your fault.
You are not a puppet master. Please, get therapy and realise that you’re in an exceptionally abusive relationship.
I find it odd you don't want to be tracked or you don't track your wife. I have this feature setup for my wife and kids, we can all track each other. In this day and age, it's nice to be able to find someone in a hurry. There have been three incidents where something happened, where that featured helped tremendously. Once with my wife and twice with my daughters. I get having a boundary, but knowing where you're at seems a bit sus to me.
Drinking will ruin your life and will last long after this girl it out of your life…. don’t get into a daily habit not worth it. This is Not someone you want to build a life with so you are being abused and potentially ruining your life by developing alcohol dependency.
I know you know this but man leave her. Grow some self esteem and find a woman you love that treats you well by respecting and supporting you.
He doesnt act like he doesnt want to do it, just that it's painful. I sometimes feel like he's gaslighting me. Trying to make me angry so he can play the mistreated victim. I actually said “why are you acting like its killing you to hold the paw?” Then he looked at me like I was a shrew and acted hurt.
Three of them with six guys? Drunk? Nothing good is going to come of that, is there? What are they there for? Just to have a good time? What do you do at the accommodation for six guys that you couldn't have done at the bar you met them?
How do you know all this? She told you did she?
Look, I don't know if she cheated on you but if the positions were reversed she would have some big questions for you and you would not be surprised if her faith in you had taken a serious hit. Maybe she wouldn't believe that you didn't do anything even though one of the girls clearly liked you, and it would be the end of the relationship. Could hardly blame her, could you?
Of course they fucked