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yeah my phone dials the last person i called in my pocket a bunch. this is what probably happened or something similar.
To be honest, I understand you feeling bad, but I have never considered googling medication as a breach of trust. Imagine if you found out they were pills for a heart condition, would you feel like you have violated her trust ? Well no?! You would be looking out for her as you would like to know if she has a heart condition in case something happened. It is shitty that trans people feel the need to hide the fact they are trans, although I just see them as people who have reproductive problems ??♀️. I don’t mean this in a bad way. Being trans isn’t a disease that is due to a mistake you made like catching a STD although if you’re HIV positive then still you had bad luck, anyway I’m getting of track. What I want to say is, you’re a good guy! Don’t be so very hot on yourself and don’t make it a big deal. I think your girlfriend is going to be happy once she found out you don’t discriminate against non-cis people
Maybe she wants to participate in the group activity? Even if it adds a bit of stress. You can still want to fit in with the group even if a handful of members are slick or whatever.
How is not seeing, loving and PROTECTING your daughter, not the priority here ?
She’s deported…no daughter, right?
Go through her phone
That’s a great game, especially to casually play and get to know someone.
I know at least three couples who have met through video games; one couple got married last year and another are currently engaged. But try not to think about the crush part and just play with her like she’s one of the guys.. if she’s an actual gamer, she will appreciate that more than you know.
I didn’t need a second master’s degree but I got it any way because I wanted to.
You are an adult not a child. He isn’t your parent. Stand up for what you want and how you want tone treated.
I’m going to have to agree with Chip. Just break up and call it a day. Either way, you have no business being in a relationship if you can’t handle it while in one.
Sounds like you need to learn to love yourself. Keep looking for love from someone else and you'll be in the same situation.
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You're not doing anyone any favors by delaying it. What if he ends up living longer than expected?? And then when he dies how long will you stay before it is the “right time” to break up? Because there will never ne a right time.
She cheated on you so it shouldn't come as a cpmpelte surprise. You tried to make it work and you just realized that you can't get past it. Pretty normal actually for people to come to that conclusion later..
So just break it off now. She cheated on her previous BF and now with you. And maybe he was an abuser maybe he wasn't. You only know one side of the story. So her way of dealing with problems in a relationship is by cheating. You will never be able to trust her again 100%. Why would you want to continue à relationship like thatvwhen you aren't married and have no kids? Too many stories out there of people forigivng their bf/gf, then get married and have kids only to get cheated on again
Why can't you believe it? She lied. She is a liar. That's it.
Then start thinking about and exploring your options for single motherhood. Don’t marry some random dude just to get you pregnant. There are plenty of women who do that who— shock— also end up single.
Do you really think a rational, smart man is going to propose to a woman he’s been dating six months because she demands to get married and pregnant immediately? Do you want to be married to someone dumb enough to do that?
Couldn’t agree more. Everyone is jumping on this friend and yet, without his actions exactly the way he did them, this story wouldn’t have turned out this way.
I question sometimes if people on the sub online in the real world or give advice/comment on how they want it to be. Friendships are nuanced as are people. This friend obviously knows OP far better than any of us do, was asked for help and did so based on their dynamic.
I wouldn’t have handled it like he did, others are pretty adamant they wouldn’t but calling him an asshole is unfair and incredibly judgmental. As much as people want everyone to tiptoe around trauma, not everybody handles it like that. Some people can see two people clearly in love, be there for them each on numerous occasions but maybe knows something about his friend we don’t like maybe knowing if he doesn’t do what he did, how he did, was exactly what the friend needed.
I don’t know but that’s the point. No one here does either and calling the friend an asshole for successfully navigating this in OP and his gf’s best interest was no small feat.
People can say it could’ve gone wrong and it could have but it didn’t. Some can say this is not how you deal with trauma, but for them it’s what worked. It sounds like the friend did more to actually help anything than any comments here did as much as people want to pat themselves in the back. OP writing what he did he could’ve done anywhere. It was his friend’s actions in it that led to a happy ending.
I just get tired of people acting like there is only one way to deal with a trauma, like what you think should be done is the only way.
We should all be so lucky to have a friend that knows us like OP’s friend does and yes, maybe this will help facilitate a discussion between OP and his friend that will make their friendship stronger. His friend isn’t an asshole. He’s an imperfect dude trying to help his struggling friend.
And he did.
The title is quite misleading. You fucked up and found out. No 2 ways about it. Not sure if you can recover from it, but I hope you do.
And stop fantasising about those porn-ish stuff. Keeping all parties happy in a threesome require some great level of communication, which you three definitely did not have.
It all depends how you two feel together. If you both are sure you wanna spend life together. I have no idea what the current distance is and what the future distance would be, but if it’s managable to stay in touch, spend time together without not seeing each other for long periods of time it shouldn’t be a problem.
But you gotta be sure she is the one. Ask yourself, do you have anything you disagree on? Is it a major thing like she wants kids and you don’t or is she into exploring her sexual life which could lead to threesomes or whatever because youre young. Make sure you really want the person before you waste years and then realize she wanted something completely different from the start.
If you both feel good together and you want the same things from life and the distance is doable, then you gotta know yourself she is the person and you will have to fight for her.
I heard from a girl who heard from a kid who knows a guy who talked to a girl that was at 33 flavors…….
I have panic attacks, and I learned frozen peas on your neck or cold water can reset. Also she can practice mindful breathing and use as a rescue. I am sure your presence is a comfort. It can be a malfunction in high CO2 levels in the body. This can become fear of fear itself; one panic attack makes you scared of the next one. There is nothing wrong with a rescue dose of lorazepam PNR.
What should you do? Leave him. He cheats on you. Why would you stay?
“I’ve given up my whole life for him” you’re 18. This isn’t to say that your problems aren’t real and emotions aren’t valid (because they are) but you’re only 18. Leave this loser. You’ll get over it.
And when you leave, he’s going to say that he’ll change. He’ll promise to be better. He’ll swear on EVERYTHING that things are going to be different this time. He might beg, he may even cry. Don’t fall for any of it.
Leave, delete and block when he inevitably gets hateful/hurtful/toxic, and go no contact.
The first paragraph around mental illness being permanent and not being able to ever get better is not really true and much more nuanced than you present it here. Sure, ADHD and Autism are permanent but except the most severe causes can be managed and controlled, but depression and anxiety are certainly not always permanent. With the right combination of exercise (recent studies have shown better response to exercise than anti-depressants) medication and/or therapy most people can overcome them. Not trying to get into an argument here, I just hope to address some of the stigma and misconceptions around mental illness.
If it doesn't work out with her new boyfriend.
Dude, she's monkeybranching but wants you as a backup.
Are you on the lease? What does the lease state about subleasing?
Meanwhile work as much as you can and save up to move out and eventually be financially independent hopefully by September.
No. It is not extreme to separate yourself from this creep.
If you feel that all he wants you for is your body, you are probably right. You are the person who experiences him. We don’t.
What you do about is open your eyes in your situation, and watch his patterns. -Many you outlined here- and decide if that is what you want in your life.
You can’t change people. But you can decide what you want in your relationships. And if you are not getting it from him, you can move on. You can set boundaries. You can start seeing if he uses your age gap to his advantage.
And you can not date folks you work with.
I want to be clear about something here. This isn't him being a little bit unreasonable, this is him showing you what a greedy, selfish, inconsiderate, manipulative asshole he truly is.
This whole gender role thing is complete and utter BS on top of that. You may believe in gender roles, but he's not trying to fill the “man of the house” gender role so it's clear he doesn't believe in it but just wants you doing all the work while he contributes nothing to balance it out.
Be prepared to walk. It's not going to get better the longer you stay, it's going to get worse. You're not even moved in with him yet and he's already made it clear all he cares about is getting a live-in maid who subsidizes his lifestyle. And notice how he's already started changing what he expects from you? It went from no rent to $600. Just wait until you move in and he keeps changing the agreement.
Don't move in with this guy.
I find this comment to be incredibly judgmental towards OP and kind of bizarre.
How is it not obvious? We made our own videos and they were very popular aka im not ugly and have a nice body so why go watch other girls??
Ok, so like, what if a female friend of yours got assaulted? Did she ask for it because of what she wore? I mean, in your own words, those are his beliefs.
Do you have black friends? If so, would you feel comfortable subjecting them to his racism?
If you had children, you’re ok with him thinking she’s lesser than? Because again, that’s what you’ve said.
It’s fine if you answer yes to those, it just means you’re not as egalitarian as you think you are. Why do your views have to be the ones compromised on, and not his?
Writing you while being drunk is unproblematic (as long it stays strictly non-sexual and not romantic) Kissing you on your head is a major problem especially if you did not want him to do so.
Tell him he stepped over a boundary and that this is your final warning from him not to do this (or similar stuff) again.
Sounds like he needs what you guys have, probably a warm friendly family.
To sure what to tell you except to start being busy when he wants to come over, till,he gets the message.
If that's the only thing you have in common then…
This has got to be a troll post or; Expect the relationship to end soon.
Probably Midwest area. I've seen a couple houses listed around that much and they're like 4 bedroom 2.5 bath.
Maybe to see if she really values this relationship. Not being on anyone else’s time. she never experienced living alone and wants to do it at least once.
I don’t think it’s abusive, but it’s not healthy.
This relationship should have ended back in 2013. He's a lying cheat and he'd be better served getting an STD test than a Covid test. You're nothing more than an ATM to him.
Here is hopefully a little wake up call to you. You know your partner is a pedophile. You're going to wake up one day to a knock on the door saying “FBI OPEN UP” or something similar. Guess what is gonna happen. People are going to find out. People will know that your partner is a pedophile. They're also know that you're with him. I think there's a possibility that you're going to be known as the woman who was knowingly with a pedophile.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but when they raid him they will take your electronics if you're living together. They will find out that you knew. You are going to have to make a decision here. Stay with him and be known as the woman who stuck by her pedo partner or leave and if you KNOW there are pictures of kids even just without clothes on then you gotta report it. Save yourself cause there ain't no saving that man.
I wouldn't stress too much about it. Most women I don't think honestly care, because you're going to have to learn/be taught how to do sex “differently” with literally every woman you meet. We all have different interests and preferences and get off on different things.
That said, I can understand her frustration if she had to try to reach you literally everything, every step, and a ton of assurances along the way. It can completely take us out of the moment. Maybe this isn't the case, but if you're asking multiple times “is this okay* or “how do I do this” then maybe research first (not just porn, there's a ton of other resources) because that's more annoying than inexperience.
Thank you for your comment. Your advise makes sense and I'll try to do it.