You cannot talk reasons to someone who wants to talk feelings. You need to break up in black and white. There is no 'fix' for him to make. There is nothing to change YOUR feelings and please do it now. Don't waste enough holiday season because it'll upset him. It's not fair to either of you. You think you're being kind. You are not. You are leading somebody on and giving them false. Hope when you are seemingly 100% done with the relationship. Do you both a favor but your big girl panties on and end the relationship with a clean cut. There is no way of talking sense into someone who doesn't want it, which he does not.
First, are you ASKING for compliments? Or just enjoy cooking and sharing your food? I love to cook and bake for others. Especially if I know they enjoy my food. However, I don’t ask. I figure if they enjoy it, they’ll let me know. It’s nice when someone appreciates and enjoys something you are passionate about. I think providing food for your grieving friend was incredibly generous and thoughtful. If you’re not calling or messaging them asking them how they enjoyed the food then I’m not sure how you are fishing for compliments. That’s just doing a nice thing for someone.
Thanks for the reply! I just realised how much I wrote after re-reading. Guess it’s been bottling up for too long. I’ve always thought giving an ultimatum is too harsh and it might exacerbate his depression? But maybe I need to do it for myself.
I understand the impulse, but it wasn’t your place to do that. Your sister’s relationship is none of your business, whether she’s trying to turn over a new leaf or not. It’s not really about loyalty to your sister or her bf, but simply the fact that it’s her life and her relationship, not yours .
A lot of people here are suggesting that time will help, but there are wounds that may never heal despite how much you've grown since then, and telling someone you're glad their child died is likely one of those. You need to come to terms that you may never be forgiven, and that it is well within the rights of everyone involved to not do so.
Try to keep being better every day and pay it forward to others, and forgive others where you can.
Because the odor from the vag is usually covered and you don’t smell it regularly what you are saying is not true. You don’t become accustomed to it. The real quick way to tell us to smell your underwear. My guess is dude is negging her or smelling his own breath in a confined space when going down on her. My response would be hey you are smelling your own breath.
He doesn't see it as a problem because he feels like he doesn't HAVE to drink, he just does, and could stop any time he wants.
Classic alcoholic logic.
The thing with addiction, is that someone with an addiction won't stop unless they truly want to. You can only control your own behavior, at the end of the day he is responsible for himself.
So, you have to ask yourself; is this a relationship you want to be in? You are allowed to set the boundary that you don't want to be in a relationship with an alcoholic. And whether he calls himself an alcoholic or not that's what he is.
Take it from someone who grew up around an alcoholic. You're right in thinking that you don't want kids in that environment. You're right to think about your own want and needs, it's not selfish. But in order to set a boundary you not only have to communicate your boundary, but take action when it is violated. A lot of people skip the action part.
You can't set yourself on fire to keep other people warm.
Leave him and don't look back. There's no award for loving broken people. You can't fix him and you get nothing in life or afterwards for martyring yourself at the alter of his dysfunction.
She didn’t care that I looked through her messages. She put my Face ID on her phone and says I can go on it whenever
You cannot talk reasons to someone who wants to talk feelings. You need to break up in black and white. There is no 'fix' for him to make. There is nothing to change YOUR feelings and please do it now. Don't waste enough holiday season because it'll upset him. It's not fair to either of you. You think you're being kind. You are not. You are leading somebody on and giving them false. Hope when you are seemingly 100% done with the relationship. Do you both a favor but your big girl panties on and end the relationship with a clean cut. There is no way of talking sense into someone who doesn't want it, which he does not.
First, are you ASKING for compliments? Or just enjoy cooking and sharing your food? I love to cook and bake for others. Especially if I know they enjoy my food. However, I don’t ask. I figure if they enjoy it, they’ll let me know. It’s nice when someone appreciates and enjoys something you are passionate about. I think providing food for your grieving friend was incredibly generous and thoughtful. If you’re not calling or messaging them asking them how they enjoyed the food then I’m not sure how you are fishing for compliments. That’s just doing a nice thing for someone.
Thanks for the reply! I just realised how much I wrote after re-reading. Guess it’s been bottling up for too long. I’ve always thought giving an ultimatum is too harsh and it might exacerbate his depression? But maybe I need to do it for myself.
I understand the impulse, but it wasn’t your place to do that. Your sister’s relationship is none of your business, whether she’s trying to turn over a new leaf or not. It’s not really about loyalty to your sister or her bf, but simply the fact that it’s her life and her relationship, not yours .
Age gap and love bombing. Run.
A lot of people here are suggesting that time will help, but there are wounds that may never heal despite how much you've grown since then, and telling someone you're glad their child died is likely one of those. You need to come to terms that you may never be forgiven, and that it is well within the rights of everyone involved to not do so.
Try to keep being better every day and pay it forward to others, and forgive others where you can.
Because the odor from the vag is usually covered and you don’t smell it regularly what you are saying is not true. You don’t become accustomed to it. The real quick way to tell us to smell your underwear. My guess is dude is negging her or smelling his own breath in a confined space when going down on her. My response would be hey you are smelling your own breath.
He doesn't see it as a problem because he feels like he doesn't HAVE to drink, he just does, and could stop any time he wants.
Classic alcoholic logic.
The thing with addiction, is that someone with an addiction won't stop unless they truly want to. You can only control your own behavior, at the end of the day he is responsible for himself.
So, you have to ask yourself; is this a relationship you want to be in? You are allowed to set the boundary that you don't want to be in a relationship with an alcoholic. And whether he calls himself an alcoholic or not that's what he is.
Take it from someone who grew up around an alcoholic. You're right in thinking that you don't want kids in that environment. You're right to think about your own want and needs, it's not selfish. But in order to set a boundary you not only have to communicate your boundary, but take action when it is violated. A lot of people skip the action part.
I wish you luck in your journey.
Right now there is a shortage of adderall IR, ER, Ritalin and concerta all within my area.
Only vyvanse is left and it’s running out quickly. It’s sucks
I wonder how we managed to survive back in the 80s when sex was first invented.
Ooooh, a slur! I love it when bigots like you tell on themselves.
okay, funniest dilemma i have heard in a while. this is like one of those teen anx sitcom or something.
You can't set yourself on fire to keep other people warm.
Leave him and don't look back. There's no award for loving broken people. You can't fix him and you get nothing in life or afterwards for martyring yourself at the alter of his dysfunction.
He sounds like me when I was in denial of my bisexual attraction
Same. What’s the opposite of a fetish?
A leather jacket however…
He's just flat-out cruel to you. This, my dear, is what emotional abuse looks like.
Cut your losses. You need someone who doesn't weaponize sex as a way to make you feel shitty about yourself, and he ain't it.