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Birth Date: 1991-06-01
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Oh god…. Someone stop them.
Do you truly understand what being the golden child means?
It means that your parents picked her to be the one they allow to do anything she wants without consequences.
Do you understand that you are the not golden child, the one that has no right to punish or demand anything. The one they don't care about if you get hurt. The one that has all the guilt and blame. Look what you made me do, look what you did, if you didn't do that or say that then everything would be okay. Do these sound familiar?
They have raised an entitled adult because that is what they wanted to do.
Please do your research and understand the dynamics that are happening here. The only way forward for you is decent therapy and No contact, or very very low contact.
Do not put yourself in harms way again.
It’s alarming that you’re not triggered tbf.
Hmm perhaps, but it is certainly not on OP.
Deal breaker. Let him go date a stripper
No I don’t think it’s constructive feedback.
Constructive feedback is “you know what, I like raw animalistic sex that’s spontaneous, I think it’d be super hot if you just….” Which should have come up in 9 months of conversations about sex before this incident.
Destructive commentary is saying “my ex fucked me better than you ever have because they did things you haven’t” even though you’ve had 9 months worth of opportunities to communicate what you like.
I know what kind of sex she’s talking about, and I’m also aware that there are tons of ways to communicate to your partner about it without making them feel like they’re being negatively compared to someone else about a sensitive and intimate subject. But that’s because I expect to have actual consideration for my partner’s feelings when I communicate with them about intimate subjects.
OPs wife: I need some time alone to fuck a bunch of dudes and think.
Maybe your mother was raped.
Or you know… Don't eat from one big tray like farm animals eating from a trough
How long have you two been dating? Do you consider this a deal breaker? What compromise can either of you come up with?
I dont like my bfs place and i dont go there anymore. Sometimes we have to compromise by not seeing each other as much so he can have alone time. But we live! 15 mins apart so it's not as big of a deal.
Have you two considered moving in to your own apartment together?
It would be selfish to try to make things work with her just because you don’t want her to be sad.
‘Doing it for her sake’ isn’t a selfless act. It’s one based in ego. The desire to be a ‘good’ person in her eyes. This need for moral approval might be linked to your depression – which I hope you seek help for. But please don’t make it the key reason for the break up in your talks with her.
The reason you’ve mentioned is you don’t want to be with one person for the rest of your life. Be honest about that part of it.
Such a troll post. Every paragraph, neatly written, is a hot button topic. Then we get to the very bottom: 'oh, poor me… what should I do?'
Dude, you’ve written the equivalent of a novel on this thread. You may have a social media addiction.
I'm not mad. I knew she had a past before we dated. There's just a masculine feeling of being protective that's all
god your a scum bag and i really hope you fuckin lose it all bro.
sarcasm but you’re welcome! Best of luck
So your boyfriend was bullied over his looks and you didn't have a problem with that – but now he's turned the tables it's a problem? Interesting. He sounds like he needs therapy – encourage him to get that and then nope out of there.
India
That's not an ex.
First of all, stop scrolling her socials as you are reinforcing a fantasy that you know can't come true. In fact, take a detox from socials in general so you aren't constantly tempted to peek or seeing any of her stuff come up live!. It doesn't have to last forever but a few months away would be good.
Next thank your friend for all she's done for you, make it clear that you appreciate it but explain that you've found yourself becoming too reliant on her and that it isn't good for you and unfair to her. You need to ease up on seeing her so much in order to start standing on your own two feet. Then start working on expanding your social circle through various means – go out more, look at evening classes etc. Keep busy so you aren't dwelling on this and meeting new people in new situations will help you rediscover your identity as an individual outside of your previous relationship. Don't rush into anything with anyone else as a way of getting over your friend. It wouldn't be fair to you OR the other person and will only be kicking your problems and need to be with someone down the road rather than working on it.
Finally, time. It took some time to reach this point and it'll take time to undo it. Don't try and rush through this to reach your goal of fully resuming the friendship. It'll take as long as it takes but you can still use this time for self-reflection and personal growth so you can emerge on the other side stronger and more confident than before.
Sorry, I know it really sucks when you invest so much only to find out it was a black hole that never reciprocates. I dated someone like that in my 20s.
Here's what you do. If you're living together pack your stuff and leave when he's away to minimize conflict. Otherwise, let him know he failed in his faithfulness and you don't want to waste time on men that lack conviction in a nice little letter. Then, you block him on everything and never speak to him, no matter how reconciliatory he may be. Throw yourself into work, or a hobby. After 1-2 months you'll be alright.
Stay in contact and you'll prolong your suffering by months only to end up in the same place.