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Just tell him you won't be able to attend because you can't afford it and you don't want to have to pay him back. If he keeps insisting just keep saying no.
Are you jealous and possessive? Will you be okay if she says yes/no? Have you thought it through? All the possible scenarios – even the most detrimental ones?
If you're just perceived as jealous but you're not, and you would be okay sleeping with her after, knowing she has moaned on other guys' dick, then bring it up how you'd normally bring up any kink.
Open up a conversation about sex and kinks, then slowly lead into the question but keep it open and explain that she in NO way has to agree. Who knows, maybe she's into it, maybe she's not.
Yes. Cheating is cheating.
My friend worked there, that location was very good about protecting the women that worked there. And I agree 100% about the waitresses/bartenders get hit on all the time, and would even take it a step further to say most attractive women get hit on ALL the time… Out shopping, walking the dog, getting the mail… At least it's a structured environment with other people there to protect you/watch your back.
Take the money. You don’t deserve to have your stuff destroyed. Let them clean up his mess
I'm sorry you went through this shit (she's trash) but to help you look on the brighter side: 1. She left before you had to invest more of your time and money in her. 2. You now have a better idea of what you're looking for in a partner (someone who is willing to share expenses)
A similar thing happened with my fiance. We got engaged suuuuper early and I was struggling a lot during covid, he helped pay my bills, he bought tickets for me to visit him, he spent nearly 10k on me in the course of 18 months. Now he got laid off and I'm working 2 jobs and guess whose turn it is to be the support? I'm making sure he doesn't have to worry about a single thing financially while he's hunting for a new job (and honestly, even after than too, because why not?)
A good relationship is 60/40 where both partners are trying to give 60. If you're giving 60 and she says “actually I need 100” fucking run. This is your opportunity to find someone who actually cares about your happiness.
This guy is a dweeb. Definitely not good at being a partner
Eww bad visual
Bro wtf!!!! You are adults… buy whatever ypu want and if she doesnt respect that then she wasnt your friend. We are adults and we respect everybody. Whatever your reason is, if you like it do it. Yes I understand the JK Rowling thing cause I was pissed at Chick Fil A… (im not from the LGBTQ community, but hated what they did) and man, it was very hot. Cause I LOVE FOOD and their chicken sandwiches.
But yeah your choice is something you always loved so it shouldnt be a problem.
Trying to take it one day at a time. Thanks!
Seems like her biggest issue is that he jokes and fools around too much.
A potential approach is to not entirely corner him but rather tell him, “listen I know you say these types of “jokes” to lighten the mood or express yourself and I know you don’t come from a malicious place. But I just want you to know that I feel embarrassed when these types of things are said around the family, Juliet doesn’t know you like how I do so when you say these types of jokes they’re not received well, I want them to see you as the good man you are that I love, not these misconceptions they’re starting to get from these jokes, just promise me you’ll cool it down from here with these jokes and keep this cordial with them, I’d really appreciate it.”
Obviously not say this word for word but you get the jist.
My point is there are ALOT of things that can be said and done to get past this issue. Not just jump straight into divorce over a literal stupid joke.
These people give us one tiny bit of a glimpse into their marriage and people assume the worst about the other and say divorce. That’s not helpful.
The only time a straight “divorce” response is 100% appropriate is when people come on here talking about how much physical or emotional abuse/manipulation their partner gives them. Or is stealing from them or has a constant track record of lying/being manipulative.
Not a dumb tone deaf joke
OP I am a recovering alcoholic and would drink more in an evening than most people would in a month. You know what I never did? Got drunk and drunk texted and cheated on my wife. All your fiancé is doing is shifting the blame from himself to the alcohol. That is not the way it works. Alcohol and coke do not make you do anything you don’t want to do. I hope for your sake you ditch your POS cheating fiancé as you deserve so much better.
The “drinking thing” is the point though. She was so disgusted and horrified by what she did that she made an immediate, significant change in her behavior. Thinking about what I want in a life partner, I know everyone is flawed and will make mistakes, make decisions I don’t like, etc… but I have tremendous respect for your wife and I would be proud to have a partner like her.
What are you taking about? She told him he couldn't private message with her, only group chat, and he still private messaged. She said he couldn't be alone with him IRL and he went for a private walk with her. Boundaries are being stomped on all over the place.
OP- was she attractive IRL?
Oh, we’re for sure taking a break. I let loose and yelled at him and then made him drive me 45 minutes back to my house at 2AM. Just trying to figure out my next moves.
Absolutely, although being manipulated and pitted against their loved ones is one way golden children are isolated and abused
I wouldn't call it cheating (although I'd be very uncomfortable with it) but if your boyfriend doing the same would hurt you it's clearly inappropriate. You need to stop contact with this guy – he didn't want to study. He didn't go and lie down in your bed for 15 mins to sleep – he wanted to have sex. He is disrespecting you and your relationship.
FFS…what's wrong with you? Why would you tolerate that for 2 years? If you can't advocate for what you want, no one else well. If she can't meet your needs, leave
In my experience, cats either get along or not, and you can tell from the first 6 months. I doubt it will ever improve while those two cats live together, unless maybe confining each to certain parts of the house. He seems quite firm that the cat needs to go, so honor his wishes and move out with her.
My bad, still stands
You can make anyone do anything. All you can do is express your feelings, and they will either be heard or they won’t.
It sounds to me like your words will continue to fall on deaf ears, and that this is what life is going to be like with him. Do with that what you will.
Because you changed genders back and forth, which means you used to be a man in between
This can be very disapproving of people who do not support it
Therefor, you will need someone that doesn't mind.
The fact you are here, means you're scared he does. Therefore, point proven, it matters
He’s disgusting and doesn’t deserve you or to see your body ever again
Idk where you got the idea people don’t have trust issues. This sub alone… the only thing in your power is not ignoring red flags, other than that it’s learning as you go and hoping for the best.
Ok, I'll be the weird one here: He eats his boogers, so what. Comparing with other stuff we (well at least some of us) put in our mouths, eg. other peoples bodily fluids, genital parts and a large variety of bacteria and mold (mostly in cheese form – and most likely not sex/intimacy related), a little bit of booger residue probably won't hurt. That being said, if it bothers you go talk to him. Communication never hurts and as your boyfriend he is rather unlikely to prioritise eating boogers over kissing you. Best of luck. 🙂
you sound like you need serious therapy before you implode your extremely healthy marriage
Don’t change what you want for a man. You need to learn what you want (outside of his opinion) and have a backbone with it.
It’s dark but men who say this fear marriage for deep rooted issues. They tend to: 1. have a one that got away that they always viewed as the person they’d marry who isn’t you 2. Don’t see themselves marrying you but do find someone else who they love enough to marry (it’ll have nothing to do with you but everything to do with them) 3. Truly won’t marry anyone because they will never be willing to commit to anyone fully (other than themselves) and you’ll never have a fully committed relationship (this mentality could be caused by childhood trauma from parents divorce or a really bad breakup after falling in love for the first time, and they never worked on their emotions).
You don’t seem to want to break up with him based on your comments so you’ll probably have to go around the insanity/hamster wheel a few times of trying to make each other bend. If you give up what you want, you will resent him. If he bends to what you want, he’ll resent you, It’s delaying pain but hey you can chose to try.
Or you could break up now, save yourself both a lot of time, and be one person closer to finding someone who agrees with you on the BIG fundamental topics In relationships.
That’s not it. I understand. Boys can fall quickly and I can see pulling away from too much more contact if he feels he’ll just get hurt.
Sounds like you were the rebound until they fixed things between themselves. Sorry ?
Tell husband he was previously not a team player in your marriage and y’all have to get on the same team. Watch Ted Lasso to let him see how a man feels when he loses his marriage because he’s incapable of teamwork. Do Gottmann marriage workbooks if he won’t go to Gottmann marriage counseling.
I definitely needed to read that. But my baby was not a mistake. I was never supposed to get pregnant. I've been told by a few doctors. Ive had whole relationships with other guys, never using protection and never had a pregnancy scare. Getting pregnant saved my life. Our baby is a miracle that will probably never happen again. I don't regret having a baby, I'm just sad my bf isn't who I thought he was.
I agree. I guess I act like that didn’t bother me when it happened but I’m sure it had an impact.
The price of gas is too expensive so to avoid having to put on the radiators we have decided to share bodyheat by sleeping very hot in the same bed. I can't believe it is a problem for you, how rude.
Lol omg someone brought up going to the DA??
Oof. I think it’s clear what happened. It’s up to you to decide whether you’re going to go with her version and let it go, or if you can’t move past it. She cheated. She prolly won’t admit it unless it gets ugly. You can get out now before that. Closure is dumb and unnecessary. Protect your heart. I’m sorry this happened.
You're absolutely right. They can.
But um:
a) the best friend being gay has nothing to do with the story, so why is it mentioned?
b) this is some over-the-top shit. “Break up with your girlfriend or I'll do it for you?”
I'm not buying it.
Trust me, I will respect her decision regardless of the decision she makes. And yes, you can tell anyone you love them, you’re right. But when she’s saying things like we need to do this to the house, or let’s get another pet. That doesn’t sound to me like anyone that wants to separate. She sounds like someone who is confused rn.
I don’t think the issue is that your husband has a friend. The issue is that this very directly breaks the psychologist ethical code, and is illegal in most places. The psychologist KNOWS she is breaking the ethical code. This applies even though she stopped treating him. It doesn’t matter, it is still illegal.
Psychologists are often even technically ethically obligated to stop seeing patients they already have if they find out they have some sort of connection to them (For example: psychologist’s sibling starts dating a client’s sibling). I think in the US literally the only case they can keep treating patients if they have a connection is if there are no other available psychologists
You are snooping through his phone, tracking him, basically stalking him in one way or another, and violating every ounce of privacy he has?
Whether there's anything going on or not, you need some help for your insecurity. The way you lay it out seems to border on psychopathic, or clinically paranoid. I would suggest you talk to a psychiatrist, or at least look into therapy. You feel crazy because this level of anxiety isn't sane or healthy.
You're not obligated to date anyone, ever. Anyone who is telling you that you have to get back out there is wrong.
I'm sorry for your loss.
Have you tried telling him to grow up?
She doesn’t HAVE to get rid of her friend.
You aren’t MAKING her get rid of her friend.
You are just saying you’re not available to be in a relationship with someone who is going to lie to you. She can decide what she wants to do.