If he understands you, you wouldn’t feel insecure. It’s easy to miss the red flags when you’re blinded by love. Take a step back and analyse the whole thing
She may not see it as masturbation. She may have been taught that it was just “scratching an itch”. A lot of hyper religious people literally convince themselves of this in order to prevent eternal damnation due to sinning. She may feel intense shame. She may start to masturbate in her sleep, only waking when the big O hits. There are so many variables. Have you asked her to touch herself for your viewing pleasure? Maybe mutual masterbation will show her that it is, in fact masturbation? A lot of people feel intense shame while pleasuring themselves. If this is the case, only therapy can help this. Therapy and patience. Does she have past trauma surrounding sex? Maybe someone catching her when she was young, and telling her how horrible she was?
That’s what I was thinking but I wasn’t sure, this makes sense. Would that likely mean he’s talking about me? I’ve been with him for the past year, in a relationship for 10 months
Do you understand now why his wife treats you like she does? He’s filled her head with lies too that THEY are together and fixing things and you were just the other woman. If he was being honest with her and you, she wouldn’t be looking for your hair in his apartment. It would be a normal thing to find there as you’re his girlfriend.
There are FB groups that can help you find info on just about anyone. PM me if you’d like the name of one. You can ask your question there anonymously too.
Are you sure you want to marry a woman who makes you feel this way? You say yourself, the issue is never truly solved, she just changes temporarily to basically placate you. Has it always been this way? I'd wonder if she's into men at all but if she's bi, then you guys might just be growing apart. You should reevaluate your relationship.
My husband talked about how i did it and how sometimes it hurt. He gave me tips on what he enjoys and now its pleasurable for him. I hope wouldn't have know, if he didnt bring it up. Was i offended? Yes. B ut i listened and changed. Talk with her about what you enjoy.
The bit about him thinking you didn't want to date anyone right now is your big clue here.
A lot of people who hold onto unrequited feelings will cease on the “right now” part. Instead of hearing “I don't want a relationship with you” they focus on the “right now” part. This allows them to entertain the idea that you do want something with them but timing is in the way. I think your roommate did not accept your disinterest in him as much as he lead you to believe. His behavior and using that exact line to justify it strongly suggest that he's been pining away this whole time, all under the assumption that he has a chance with you if only he can stick around until the time is right. Beginning a relationship with another man shatters that illusion because now it's clear that the time is right… it's just right for someone who isn't him.
Was my first thought!
People who dont oppose racist people, have racist tendencies themselves.
If he understands you, you wouldn’t feel insecure. It’s easy to miss the red flags when you’re blinded by love. Take a step back and analyse the whole thing
You sound like a creep dude.
I appreciate the response, I'll definitely think about what you said
21 and 24, getting engaged after a year with seemingly no understanding of each other's personalities, what could go wrong?!
The fact that he’s doing this straight to your face irritates the fuck out of me. That’s some gaslighting shit.
It’s Reddit. I post under diff alliases to maintain anonymity. Either contribute to the post or scroll past it
She may not see it as masturbation. She may have been taught that it was just “scratching an itch”. A lot of hyper religious people literally convince themselves of this in order to prevent eternal damnation due to sinning. She may feel intense shame. She may start to masturbate in her sleep, only waking when the big O hits. There are so many variables. Have you asked her to touch herself for your viewing pleasure? Maybe mutual masterbation will show her that it is, in fact masturbation? A lot of people feel intense shame while pleasuring themselves. If this is the case, only therapy can help this. Therapy and patience. Does she have past trauma surrounding sex? Maybe someone catching her when she was young, and telling her how horrible she was?
That’s what I was thinking but I wasn’t sure, this makes sense. Would that likely mean he’s talking about me? I’ve been with him for the past year, in a relationship for 10 months
Ummm no.
Lol I feel embarrassed for you
Do you understand now why his wife treats you like she does? He’s filled her head with lies too that THEY are together and fixing things and you were just the other woman. If he was being honest with her and you, she wouldn’t be looking for your hair in his apartment. It would be a normal thing to find there as you’re his girlfriend.
No you were telling the truth. How dare he set you up to fail.
There are FB groups that can help you find info on just about anyone. PM me if you’d like the name of one. You can ask your question there anonymously too.
My thought was, if he doesn't already care for the child, he isn't going to want to, beyond scamming her for money.
I have been a travelling child.
Allover Europe. And mostly I hated that thorroughly.
Although both parents like that… the children might not.
What happens if they hate it? Or just cant for whatever reason?
Will he leave them behind?
He us totally stuck upon what once was their common dream.
I shall wear my scarlet letter A with due shame.
Are you sure you want to marry a woman who makes you feel this way? You say yourself, the issue is never truly solved, she just changes temporarily to basically placate you. Has it always been this way? I'd wonder if she's into men at all but if she's bi, then you guys might just be growing apart. You should reevaluate your relationship.
Yep I'd put it down to incompatibility and move on.
You caught her. It’s only a matter of time before she replaces you
My husband talked about how i did it and how sometimes it hurt. He gave me tips on what he enjoys and now its pleasurable for him. I hope wouldn't have know, if he didnt bring it up. Was i offended? Yes. B ut i listened and changed. Talk with her about what you enjoy.
The bit about him thinking you didn't want to date anyone right now is your big clue here.
A lot of people who hold onto unrequited feelings will cease on the “right now” part. Instead of hearing “I don't want a relationship with you” they focus on the “right now” part. This allows them to entertain the idea that you do want something with them but timing is in the way. I think your roommate did not accept your disinterest in him as much as he lead you to believe. His behavior and using that exact line to justify it strongly suggest that he's been pining away this whole time, all under the assumption that he has a chance with you if only he can stick around until the time is right. Beginning a relationship with another man shatters that illusion because now it's clear that the time is right… it's just right for someone who isn't him.