One night stands, friends with benefits, or finding someone else who actually wants to do short term I guess. Idk I wouldn't want sex or closeness with someone if they don't actually want me so I never gave it much thought
I can’t tell you if you’re wrong or right, because your argument doesn’t make sense. You’re saying that you’re about to not see each other for a couple weeks so maybe you’ve taken things too fast.
How are these events related? It seems like the “issue” is simply that you have a fear. What’s going on? Let us know.
Ever since I told him I didn’t have to parallel park for my license and he’s seen how the drivers are compared to Indiana. But I agree he still shouldn’t use it against me because I’m a good driver, just a little too defensive as he says
The power imbalance in your relationship is concerning. The age gap and your mental illness give him a lot of leverage. It doesn’t sound like he’s acting responsibly in his position.
Pansexuality sounds cool as fuck I almost wish every single person on earth shared that sexuality lol, didn’t totally know the diff between them and Bi before but that’s interesting
Yeah fuck this guy. He's just hearing what he WANTS to hear so he can spout off his bullshit. If he actually listened, and gave two shits about you, he'd realize how it all actually went down and try to help you. Move on as soon as you can, you deserve better.
So do the dildos fall out of the piñata or do you beat the piñata with dildos? Dildos, vibrators and butt plugs raining down from a piñata sounds like a really fucked up way to injure yourself.
I don't know why you or your other family members think this concerns you tbh. It doesn't. It's between your sister and your father. You all do nothing and respect your sister's wishes unless you want the same fate as your father.
Music means a lot to mean, and it's different for everyone. We all have our passions and those are definitely something we (usually) want to share. I rarely share my love of space with my friends but I'd hold in in higher value with a girlfriend I have. Music is the same for me, kinda. In my last relationship i could barely share any of my songs which made me feel sad because that meant we couldn't really sing/rap together, i had to play down my excitement about some new song because i knew she wouldn't care or like it. For me, therefore, I'd really wanna have someone who shares the same music taste as me and who also loves space. But not every couple shares the same passions. If you are struggling to find anything in common I'd say that's a bad relationship but if you have 999 things in common and just that one thing isn't there, you can still function. The important thing to remember is you shouldn't ever feel so held back by your relationship. Or don't change who you are and what you like because of your partner. Maybe he'll never come around to your music, or maybe he will, but it'll probably be more natural on his own rather than you pushing it onto him. And if you have lots of other reasons to stay together then stay together. But if you decide this isn't for you and you wanna find someone with more things readily in common, then yeah go for it youre still young and there's magnitudes of people with your similar tastes
He told me he hasn’t slept with anyone (we hung out one night recently and it was seemingly obvious he hadn’t, and we fought the urge and did not sleep together). But I can see how anything is possible.
Your wife is jealous of a pillow? Is she that insecure or is she projecting?
That’s not healthy and that’s a her problem. This is seriously something the two of you need to talk about. Is she this jealous when it comes to actual people?
You’re doing a lot to try and help him. But it sounds like he’s doing very little to help himself. You locking your pills away matter very little if he’s not actually treating his addiction. He’s changed because he’s an addict, and so it’s time to be very firm, tell him you can’t stay with someone who prioritises their addiction over other elements of their life. So he has to make a decision. You can’t treat his addiction for him. If he doesn’t decide to make real change then he will stay an addict and not the man you married.
Ah man that sucks to hear. To be honest an ultimatum like that would sting at me to, not a great base to build a relationship on.
I do have some hobbies and she has her own, but at this point I'd rather be alone doing them than having her around.
It really is a horrible feeling. Knowing you will probably destroy your own life and hers, while also knowing that it could be the best decision in the end. No knowing for certain though, it sucks, it really sucks.
In other situations, this would be considered revenge porn. While you two are in a relationship, this is still very concerning, and he needs to be held accountable as such. Accident or not, he has put you in a place where you dont feel safe or trust him. I won't say to leave him as that is your own prerogative, but I would SERIOUSLY consider if you will ever come back from this and regain any trust and respect.
I grew up filthy, in a borderline hoarder house and while I’m no neat freak I keep things tidy. My husband didn’t know how to cook when we met but he learned. It sounds like he’s using weaponized incompetence on you. My husband makes dinner for me when I’m exhausted or having a rough week. He wouldn’t beg me to cook when he knows I’m beat and he would never leave the kitchen a mess. And he LOVES video games. He’s just also an adult and my partner first.
We both work from home, and so we’re getting a 2 bedroom and converting one bedroom into an office.
Would be a no for me. You barely know each other, what's the rush?
(I still live! with my parents),
Move into a flatshare, or get your own place first….become more independent and get to know your SO better. Right now, you're still in the early honeymoon stage, and who knows if you're still going to be together in 6 months' time.
WE ALL know that. You don’t “accidentally” post a very explicit video and then accidentally not see it saying “loading.. posted!” And accidentally not see the many comments and texts from people about it.
EX boyfriend is the term you need to be using cause this guy is a PREDATOR.
Oh honey.. you can’t possibly keep fighting for a marriage when he obviously doesn’t value it. he won’t even admit he was in the wrong and somehow turns it on you.
my heart aches for you, the more you allow it. the more it’ll happen. it’s not in your head, if you need more validation.. how would you feel hearing this same exact story from another person you loved? yea.. I thought so too.
Ah yes, the same strategy my father took. We've been permanently estranged for over 2 decades, ever since I had to move out at 16. The man is dead to me. And they were divorced about a decade after anyway, so all he did was lose the relationships with all 3 of his children from prior marriages.
It’s not so much that she’s distracting me just that my awful self esteem logic says that since she’s cool I’m boring. Her doing so much cool stuff and having so many experiences makes me feel like I’m not living my life to the fullest. Which I’m probably not since I’m not sure what my dreams even are. I work nude but towards what, I’m not sure yet.
I hurt for you… he disappears for weekends… didn’t want to take you to family functions… didn’t even talk with you about taking vacation at same time… gets angry when you try to talk with him about the future…
He’s doing everything but verbally saying I’m not planning a future with you… he’s probably has other women as well if he lives so far away.. he knows your aren’t going to pop up at his home…
Yup. The kindest thing to do for that cat is not to take care of it and therefore enable your roommate keeping it in an incredibly inappropriate environment, when it is clearly NOT an ESA. The kindest thing you can do is go to your RA or whoever is in charge and say, “Hey, I'm very concerned about this cat. I thought my roommate needed it as an ESA but she keeps leaving for several days at a time and just . . . abandoning it here, and I'm concerned that it is going to starve or get sick with no one to take care of it.”
Maybe he's worried because the relationship was gay? 48 means he grew up in the 80s, at that time homosexuality was something that got you bullied, really badly. People died from suicide it was so bad.
My ex would always tell me to stop being so negative and appreciate my life whenever I tried to talk about whatever problems I had going on. It’s so invalidating when someone does that. That’s why he’s my ex..
According to your post history, your partner is addicted to porn.
That is a whole, completely different beast than your run-of-the-mill physical ED.
Being addicted to porn changes EVERYTHING about your question – including how he gets off, and what gets him off, and if he has the 'death grip' when he masturbates (it's A Thing, look it up).
Folks answered your question in good faith, but you didn't ask it honestly.
If you can't even be straightforward with a question on an anonymous site like Reddit, you need to really get your shit together when it comes to talking to your partner.
You are 30 years old, OP – Not 3. Be better to yourself and your partner.
It’s a bit weird, for sure. I have a person like that in my life. She even subtweets my actual tweets. I have crept ex’s before but it’s like a drunken wine thing I do with my bestie.
I honestly have no idea as to why some men think that this is normal… eitherway it's still cheating.
One night stands, friends with benefits, or finding someone else who actually wants to do short term I guess. Idk I wouldn't want sex or closeness with someone if they don't actually want me so I never gave it much thought
I can’t tell you if you’re wrong or right, because your argument doesn’t make sense. You’re saying that you’re about to not see each other for a couple weeks so maybe you’ve taken things too fast.
How are these events related? It seems like the “issue” is simply that you have a fear. What’s going on? Let us know.
Did you get divorced within the past year?
Ever since I told him I didn’t have to parallel park for my license and he’s seen how the drivers are compared to Indiana. But I agree he still shouldn’t use it against me because I’m a good driver, just a little too defensive as he says
Your boyfriend is being toxic.
The power imbalance in your relationship is concerning. The age gap and your mental illness give him a lot of leverage. It doesn’t sound like he’s acting responsibly in his position.
And I'm a woman. Sex is not the most important thing.
Pansexuality sounds cool as fuck I almost wish every single person on earth shared that sexuality lol, didn’t totally know the diff between them and Bi before but that’s interesting
Yeah fuck this guy. He's just hearing what he WANTS to hear so he can spout off his bullshit. If he actually listened, and gave two shits about you, he'd realize how it all actually went down and try to help you. Move on as soon as you can, you deserve better.
So do the dildos fall out of the piñata or do you beat the piñata with dildos? Dildos, vibrators and butt plugs raining down from a piñata sounds like a really fucked up way to injure yourself.
Why haven’t you confronted her yet?
Especially with a tiny baby???
Right but the accounts he followed 7 years ago are still popping up on his feed. They’re active accounts. So he didn’t just forget
I don't know why you or your other family members think this concerns you tbh. It doesn't. It's between your sister and your father. You all do nothing and respect your sister's wishes unless you want the same fate as your father.
Music means a lot to mean, and it's different for everyone. We all have our passions and those are definitely something we (usually) want to share. I rarely share my love of space with my friends but I'd hold in in higher value with a girlfriend I have. Music is the same for me, kinda. In my last relationship i could barely share any of my songs which made me feel sad because that meant we couldn't really sing/rap together, i had to play down my excitement about some new song because i knew she wouldn't care or like it. For me, therefore, I'd really wanna have someone who shares the same music taste as me and who also loves space. But not every couple shares the same passions. If you are struggling to find anything in common I'd say that's a bad relationship but if you have 999 things in common and just that one thing isn't there, you can still function. The important thing to remember is you shouldn't ever feel so held back by your relationship. Or don't change who you are and what you like because of your partner. Maybe he'll never come around to your music, or maybe he will, but it'll probably be more natural on his own rather than you pushing it onto him. And if you have lots of other reasons to stay together then stay together. But if you decide this isn't for you and you wanna find someone with more things readily in common, then yeah go for it youre still young and there's magnitudes of people with your similar tastes
He told me he hasn’t slept with anyone (we hung out one night recently and it was seemingly obvious he hadn’t, and we fought the urge and did not sleep together). But I can see how anything is possible.
Oh my god you’re 27. Way too old to be naive enough to send nudes to a stranger who you have never met. PLEASE come to your senses.
Ah, that's not the case where I live! and I was (incorrectly, it seems) assuming that that applied to the US as well, where OP is.
In the UK you either have the right to work or you don't, with no in between. If someone doesn't have a work visa then they can't be legally employed.
I’m struggling to find a single reason as to why you’re with this person
Not even with his questionable drunken behaviour but the entire situation in general where he’s getting black out drunk in public
Both of you have some serious issues you need to address and it would probably be best to do so as single individuals
Your wife is jealous of a pillow? Is she that insecure or is she projecting?
That’s not healthy and that’s a her problem. This is seriously something the two of you need to talk about. Is she this jealous when it comes to actual people?
You’re doing a lot to try and help him. But it sounds like he’s doing very little to help himself. You locking your pills away matter very little if he’s not actually treating his addiction. He’s changed because he’s an addict, and so it’s time to be very firm, tell him you can’t stay with someone who prioritises their addiction over other elements of their life. So he has to make a decision. You can’t treat his addiction for him. If he doesn’t decide to make real change then he will stay an addict and not the man you married.
Ah man that sucks to hear. To be honest an ultimatum like that would sting at me to, not a great base to build a relationship on.
I do have some hobbies and she has her own, but at this point I'd rather be alone doing them than having her around.
It really is a horrible feeling. Knowing you will probably destroy your own life and hers, while also knowing that it could be the best decision in the end. No knowing for certain though, it sucks, it really sucks.
In other situations, this would be considered revenge porn. While you two are in a relationship, this is still very concerning, and he needs to be held accountable as such. Accident or not, he has put you in a place where you dont feel safe or trust him. I won't say to leave him as that is your own prerogative, but I would SERIOUSLY consider if you will ever come back from this and regain any trust and respect.
I grew up filthy, in a borderline hoarder house and while I’m no neat freak I keep things tidy. My husband didn’t know how to cook when we met but he learned. It sounds like he’s using weaponized incompetence on you. My husband makes dinner for me when I’m exhausted or having a rough week. He wouldn’t beg me to cook when he knows I’m beat and he would never leave the kitchen a mess. And he LOVES video games. He’s just also an adult and my partner first.
We both work from home, and so we’re getting a 2 bedroom and converting one bedroom into an office.
Would be a no for me. You barely know each other, what's the rush?
(I still live! with my parents),
Move into a flatshare, or get your own place first….become more independent and get to know your SO better. Right now, you're still in the early honeymoon stage, and who knows if you're still going to be together in 6 months' time.
100% not an accident. I mean
WE ALL know that. You don’t “accidentally” post a very explicit video and then accidentally not see it saying “loading.. posted!” And accidentally not see the many comments and texts from people about it.
EX boyfriend is the term you need to be using cause this guy is a PREDATOR.
!remind me 2 days
If he doesn’t accept, then he definitely hasn’t changed tbh. ?♂️
Had he been eating asparagus? That will increase the smell of urine.
Oh honey.. you can’t possibly keep fighting for a marriage when he obviously doesn’t value it. he won’t even admit he was in the wrong and somehow turns it on you.
my heart aches for you, the more you allow it. the more it’ll happen. it’s not in your head, if you need more validation.. how would you feel hearing this same exact story from another person you loved? yea.. I thought so too.
I’d snoop
We used to go to the same hs, but yeah you might be right. I used to like him a lot but im not so sure now, its uncomfortable
Ah yes, the same strategy my father took. We've been permanently estranged for over 2 decades, ever since I had to move out at 16. The man is dead to me. And they were divorced about a decade after anyway, so all he did was lose the relationships with all 3 of his children from prior marriages.
It’s not so much that she’s distracting me just that my awful self esteem logic says that since she’s cool I’m boring. Her doing so much cool stuff and having so many experiences makes me feel like I’m not living my life to the fullest. Which I’m probably not since I’m not sure what my dreams even are. I work nude but towards what, I’m not sure yet.
Total side note, freckles are amazing! Love your freckles!! 😀
I hurt for you… he disappears for weekends… didn’t want to take you to family functions… didn’t even talk with you about taking vacation at same time… gets angry when you try to talk with him about the future…
He’s doing everything but verbally saying I’m not planning a future with you… he’s probably has other women as well if he lives so far away.. he knows your aren’t going to pop up at his home…
I would have already dropped him..
Oh wow, yes indeed. Or maybe she knows my husband’s ex-wife
Gross creep
Yup. The kindest thing to do for that cat is not to take care of it and therefore enable your roommate keeping it in an incredibly inappropriate environment, when it is clearly NOT an ESA. The kindest thing you can do is go to your RA or whoever is in charge and say, “Hey, I'm very concerned about this cat. I thought my roommate needed it as an ESA but she keeps leaving for several days at a time and just . . . abandoning it here, and I'm concerned that it is going to starve or get sick with no one to take care of it.”
Some men use that as an excuse to go down on you. Then they want you to suck their junk
Maybe he's worried because the relationship was gay? 48 means he grew up in the 80s, at that time homosexuality was something that got you bullied, really badly. People died from suicide it was so bad.
My ex would always tell me to stop being so negative and appreciate my life whenever I tried to talk about whatever problems I had going on. It’s so invalidating when someone does that. That’s why he’s my ex..
According to your post history, your partner is addicted to porn.
That is a whole, completely different beast than your run-of-the-mill physical ED.
Being addicted to porn changes EVERYTHING about your question – including how he gets off, and what gets him off, and if he has the 'death grip' when he masturbates (it's A Thing, look it up).
Folks answered your question in good faith, but you didn't ask it honestly.
If you can't even be straightforward with a question on an anonymous site like Reddit, you need to really get your shit together when it comes to talking to your partner.
You are 30 years old, OP – Not 3. Be better to yourself and your partner.
It’s a bit weird, for sure. I have a person like that in my life. She even subtweets my actual tweets. I have crept ex’s before but it’s like a drunken wine thing I do with my bestie.
Might need to start paying for your own stuff, I guess.
i agree! i need to get out there and build my social life. any tips on finding a last minute date? i tried tinder but i haven’t had any luck