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This sounds like a whole bunch of unsafe behavior tbh. My partner and I have the kind of relationship where we update each other on where we go ESPECIALLY if there is alcohol involved it’s a safety thing. Tbh it sounds like she doesn’t care and was detached however she could be trying to act hard in front of friends.
Well when I brought it up after, I asked if he was mad at me and he just said “ can I just sit here without saying anything, why do you think I’m mad”. And I was like …. you can’t just tell me to shut the fuck up then expect me to not think you’re upset with me. He said he was upset because 1. I wasted a sponge 2. Because I mixed the two sponges and we don’t know which one was used with cleaning supplies and which one was meant for washing dishes
“healthy.”
How in crikey fuck do people delude themselves of this?
Agreed! I just gotta figure out how to start charging or evict that fucker
Correct, it has nothing to do with happiness. The reason they’re like this is simply because it’s easier to make snarky comments than to take responsibility for themselves and lose weight like she did.
Based on your comments – you come off as a complete douche
Why do you feel the need to be engaged? Why not wait til you’ve been together a few years
But my love language is getting paid for everything. I feel so loved this way.
Guys just like to look at hard women. If you think he will stop because it would make you feel better then you are an idiot.
I wouldnt care if my gf looked at naked men, its not cheating, grow up.
Or having adolescent kids in your late 40s/early 50s… My (26) parents are mid 50s now and they couldn't keep up with 8 year old me on a daily basis anymore. No way. Once in a while, sure. But then they'd need 3 days to recover.
My mom loves being the honorary grandma/great aunt to my friend's kids. She gets all the fun and cute and baby cuddles and toddler silliness…. And gets to give them back for anything she doesn't want to do anymore. I'm sure that trend will continue when I have kids, and as that whole generation grows up.
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This is my biggest pet peeve when guys say “oh you want equality? Then I can hurt women.” When it was entirely not relevant to the conversatiom. Like that's the first thing you think of when you hear that? Wtf? AND people shouldn't hurt people, period.
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No bb. This isn’t a he decides. This is a you have to set a standard and boundary for how men can treat you. He’s told you your not enough and he wants other women.
If my husband and father of my kids came to me and said this we would be getting a divorce – no if’s and or buts. That day he would be out of the house.
No 1: This boy has told you he wants other women, that you aren’t enough and he’s been thinking about it consistently. The relationship is not as important as his concept of a “college experience” and has told you that. He’s tried to get his cake and eat it too – and you have let him.
No 2: he is telling you men are studs and should be allowed to spread there seed (later this turns into: men cheat, it’s different when women cheat etc. ) without judgment. It sounds like he might even be asking you for it to be open only on his end.
You need to leave. For your own self respect. If you stay, it will end with you feeling demoralised and letting your standards slip. He’s already told you he wants other women and you stay. Next stop is him cheating and you staying. This train doesn’t go to any good stops babe. You lived you loved, but your time with him is now over. It wasn’t a waste, it was a beautiful teen romance that ended – as almost all do. YOU go and have YOUR college experience. Don’t let your BOYfriend stop you from meeting a MAN.
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Good grief. Get a job, get rid of him, and find a roommate or two to share expenses.
Agreed. I'm grateful you and others have helped me figure that out.
He's a narcissist…take that break and make it permanent.
He answered your first question in another comment. Wife left him when she was pregnant.
Her lease ends in May; mine ends in July. She just hates taking accountability and likes her “emotional support” cat. I put it in quotes because the cat attacks her on occasion lol
Yeah super funny
Why are you asking us when you know this is an issue. If you know it's coming, work on it instead of doing the same shit over and over. Get a therapist if you need to but this could simply be solved by not ignoring them and putting them on mute, making efforts to engage with them.
Step one is acknowledging your faults. You've done that now it's time to stop being a slave to your impulses. Nobody likes to be around someone who's only interested as long as it's convenient, new, and beneficial.
It's normal in relationships to not want to always be around someone. I'm a lot similar to you. But I know after cultivating a small group of very loyal friends who understand me, that relationships aren't 1:1 transactional affairs and that sometimes someone else has to do the heavy lifting. You communicate and find what works for you.
Key word: COMMUNICATE. Let your partner know how you're feeling, express what you plan to do to change that but ask for grace and understanding, and do what's proper to maintain your life.
There's always gonna be a bigger dick out there. Don't worry about your size, worry about her satisfaction and learn how to listen to and understand her. That's far more important than having an extra inch or two.
For more context, I told my boyfriend about a very important detail in the season finale of a show we both watch. He was annoyed by this, and to diffuse the situation, I said, ” I thought this detail would save you a lot of mental torture.” He believes that by saying this, I'm shifting the blame on him and failing to accept my fault. After which, I completely froze as I didn't know what to say and stayed silent till it was time for him to leave.
Look you definitely should’ve said something. Obviously you shouldn’t be getting into a fight with anyone over comments but you should’ve shut that shit down.
I’d leave the second he mentioned wanting another woman
Nope. I'm just saying one can understand what people think by their actions, that's it. And her actions clearly show that she had more confidende in other people. What's weird is that, even tho I described what I have done for her, you come saying this isn't a big deal.
Is she trying to over come this? Is she seeing a therapist? Has she talked to her doctor about it? Because if she isn’t doing anything to change those, then you know she is doing it intentionally.
He was smoking weed. It turned out to be laced.
Maybe she's paranoid. Maybe he's being extra cautious. Maybe he has feelings and wants to add distance. The maybes don't actually matter, but what does is that if you're unsure and want to know what's up, ask him. He's your friend, he ought to respond if you tell him you noticed y'all don't hang out as much.
I don't know why you are even thinking so much about it then. She obviously isn't a gold digger. She is treating you and your Kids. You don't pay her bills. Accept her explanation, laugh about it and move on. Because there isn't a reason to worry if she is like you describe.
Right! And all the buzzwords! “My narcissistic dismissive retroactive avoidant's love language is jealousy, what do I do!?”
That makes sense. However also trying to figure out what needs to be done for her. Thank you for the reply.
They all sound exhausting. She’s engaging in this also. I was tired half way through and read the entire thing with a ditzy valley girl voice.
I guess I really do have nothing to lose I mean the worse she could do is just block me again and then I just continue life as I have been since she blocked me. Im just as confused as you are that's why im here lol. She is very trigger happy when it comes to making decisions. Im gonna sleep on it but im leaning towards just letting it go because I dont have time for cat and mouse.
He gets mail sent to his mother's house. She has them.
Put him in the bin, this one’s broken. Never ever have sex when you don’t want to. It destroys your self esteem. Anyone that tries to bully you into sex is trash, dump them. It’s meant to be a partnership, and it’s meant to be good, to energise you. This isn’t it. We all get our hearts broken and move on. We survive and get stronger. A good relationship will energise you- a poor relationship will drain you. ‘A woman in your own right’ is a good book.
Put everything into living up to her. Be the most amazing partner you can be. Be the most decent person you can be. Always choose the path that the best version of you would choose.
Hun, he didn’t get you anything because he was low on money.
Then you didn’t get him anything because you were low on money.
Then you went to his city without making concrete plans to have a date and make sure he was available.
Why on Earth do you think he’s the only person not making an effort?
You mean your ex girlfriend, right?
He will not change. The reason why I know, for certain, that he will not change, never, is because he's blaming unrelated stuff for the crime that he committed. He committed sexual assault because of… finances? Sit for a minute with this, really sit with it, and realize how ridiculous that is. Yes, people in horrible financial situation might steal money out of desperation, but who commits a sexual crime “because he has financial stress”? Nobody. It's not the reason why he committed SA. He did it because he's a sexual predator. And yes, therapy might have helped… if he was ready to acknowledge the crime he committed, if he was remorseful, if he was ready to take accountability for it, and if he wasn't blaming random stuff for the crime. He might as well have said “the goblins made me do it”.
Therapy is not a magic fix and it doesn't magically change people. What therapy does, is help people who are committed to get better and learn healthier behaviors, to reach their goal and identify their psychological obstacles and learned unhealthy coping mechanism, and replace them for healthier mechanism. Again, this only works on willing patients that are trying to on-line a better life, not on people who blame their actions on random stuff that have nothing to do with their actions.