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Was she breastfeeding during those 3 years?
it’s not them specifically but the fact that’s she’s been had in an intimate way, sometimes dominating way it makes me feel as though it’s less special and i feel weird that she’s submitted to so many other men
it’s a bit tough we’re in a 2 year relationship everything is good except this
Well I’m in Asia and he is in uk , that’s one hella distance , I have housed an a black American friend who came to Korea and needed help , so im not near feeling insecure it’s okay to help friends . Slowing down communications because you’re with someone in your own home ? Also , staying live hours and not texting is ridiculous and then when they leave you start texting regular again . He had a home issue pr and he is running to her home to stay for the month ? And of course I was only aware after he had gotten to hers . We’re done tho . Y’all are the best ❤️❤️❤️❤️
it's not like that. i shouldn't have put it that way. i mean i just had to convince her to come home with me instead of with her friend. she was already wanting to go with me but felt like she HAD to go with her friend. im not worried at all about coercion because i know i didnt. it was 100% mutual. it's just that i invited her and stuff. like she's not the type to invite herself. im not even worried about this. it's a nonissue. i just worded it really badly and that was my mistake. we both had been drinking btw.
Does she admit to herself and others yhat she is an alcoholic?
I dont know if this book will help her or if you can even get her to read it or listen to it but I wanted to include it because it is possible to change it is just not easy
Breaking bad habits is easier said than done I recommend you get her the (audio)book the “The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business” by Charles Duhigg –
Here is an excerpt:
“She was the scientists’ favorite participant. Lisa Allen, according to her file, was thirty-four years old, had started smoking and drinking when she was sixteen, and had struggled with obesity for most of her life. At one point, in her mid-twenties, collection agencies were hounding her to recover $10,000 in debts. An old résumé listed her longest job as lasting less than a year. The woman in front of the researchers today, however, was lean and vibrant, with the toned legs of a runner. She looked a decade younger than the photos in her chart and like she could out-exercise anyone in the room. According to the most recent report in her file, Lisa had no outstanding debts, didn’t drink, and was in her thirty-ninth month at a graphic design firm. “How long since your last cigarette?” one of the physicians asked, starting down the list of questions Lisa answered every time she came to this laboratory outside Bethesda, Maryland. “Almost four years,” she said, “and I’ve lost sixty pounds and run a marathon since then.” She’d also started a master’s degree and bought a home. It had been an eventful stretch. The scientists in the room included neurologists, psychologists, geneticists, and a sociologist. For the past three years, with funding from the National Institutes of Health, they had poked and prodded Lisa and more than two dozen other former smokers, chronic overeaters, problem drinkers, obsessive shoppers,”
A lot of habit breaking is simply awareness. I think as a first step she should simply track her drinking she cannot drink unless she writes it down in a drinking diary. Then when she looks at the diary she can see how much she is drinking it is also helpful in terms of not drinking on autopilot.
I’d love to do it in person
Don't do this. You hardly know this cheating liar. You never know how he'd react. You just don't.
Tell the wife anonymously with whatever proof you have. Just be careful.
You can marry anyone you like. Anyone who judges you for it is wrong.
Physical intimacy is basically 1/3 of a man's needs. You can't ignore that and expect a healthy relationship
Well, I appreciate what you’re saying, I did post this again, because nobody is answering me, and I would like advice, not for my boss to sit here and not get advice.
Are black people not allowed to cosplay white people then, by this logic?
Okay, this is good. I’ll work with this. I fear, however, he may not take the suggestion since he mentions how often he flosses and brushes his teeth. But we’ll see. Thanks
Yes but do your research and make sure you are getting paid well and have your money before doing anything for or with him. There are A LOT of fake or cheapskate “sugar daddies” who prey on inexperienced girls and who basically want an escort who they can have greater control over and who they can underpay.
Maybe your needs a break during the day. Your daughter is old enough for a preschool. Something a few hours during the day, usually like 9-noon. Or even a play group. Or possibly being a SAHM isn’t for her. I have friends who realized when there kids got a little older they wanted to return to work.
Also trying to get a child to sleep is frustrating and exhausting. Her comment could have come from just being overwhelmed. If this is a regular occurrence and your daughter still naps this could be why she’s flighting her sleep at night. Or if during the day because she gets enough at night. Maybe it’s time to transition out of napping and shift bed time like 30 mins or so earlier. Just a thought.
It really sounds like she expects you to “take care of her” and doesn't think she should return the effort. See if she comes up with thoughtful gifts in the next two weeks. Don't buy her any birthday gifts before that.
I personally suspect that she's trying to get you to dish out for her birthday and that's why she started weaseling with “there will be more gifts over time”. Hell, she even missed Christmas! I don't think she's looking for an equal partnership and is aiming towards a spoiled princess relationship where nobody spoils you. And you deserve to be a little spoiled as well.
Also, birthday gifts over 500 seem really excessive to me, especially if they're not a shared experience like a vacation (at least at this point where you're not earning that much). Try to establish a reasonable budget with her. I mean, if she gave you a list, it would be reasonable if you got her one expensive thing or two cheaper ones, not the whole damn list.
Then that should have been the end of the relationship. Any decent parent would have noped out right away not agreed to give up their child.
What the actual fuck. Leave this woman alone
this isn't real. lol. nope.
“He’s broken your trust.”
If asking before acting breaks instead of reinforcing one's “trust,” then what one had initially was not trust at all.
Your post history is upsetting. You’re not child free if you’re playing stepmom.
You can't use what you say you'd do in a hypothetical situation as an argument. You either trust him or you don't.
aw hun don’t worry ! you’re young and if he was pressuring you then he’s not the one you wanna have your first time with anyways, promise? your prince charming will come eventually
A component of counselling abuse victims can be helping them learn to identify warning signs and decrease their risk of being victimized again. Pointing out that paternity fraud is more likely to occur in couples who haven't been together long isn't victim blaming, it's risk mitigation. Sorry if it wasn't clear, but the second part of my comment was advice for reducing risk. It was not aimed at people who have already had it happen to them.
Apart from whether oral sex is normal or not, it is your boundaries you have to stick with. Just make yourself clear on what's the actual problem in your opinion:
Would it be a problem for you if he watched porn? Why?
Are you turned of of new ideas in the bedroom? Why?
Is it just oral sex you don't like?
I'm not asking for information but those are all things you should ask yourself. When you're clear on that just talk to your boyfriend. You're together long enough to have a clear and open communication.
Also remind yourself that wanting to try out new stuff is not weird and it might even have nothing to do with you. Humans are curious beings that naturally want to change stuff, if that wasn't the case nothing would have been invented or discovered (like electricity, cars, housing, etc).
Do not give him access to all of your money. DO NOT FUCKING DO IT!!!!
I think this can be sorted out with some healthy communication and more understanding. I think honesty is almost always a good thing, even if it might hurt if you expected the truth to be different. Perhaps this could even bring you two closer together in the end.
When you say your heart broke, what exactly do you mean by that? If you look deeply, what did you feel?
Depression doesn't excuse you being a total piece of shit of a human being. You could have fucked literally anyone but your friend's wife. The fact that you didn't feel bad until you started hanging out with him again makes you a massive piece of shit.