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Tell her your issues with her and then move out of the house. Take a break from each other. Tell her you will move back in if the situation between you two improve. But please dont start dating other women while on this break. The purpose is for her to see the reality of both your problems and work on improving herself. You should use this time too to improve on areas that she is not happy with. In the meantime, dont forget the children and start co-parenting 50:50. See and talk to your children everyday and be involved. Go for dates with her sometime or gym dates with her. Give it maybe a few months to see how things go. If no change then break it off with her formally, separating your finances and informing your family members. At least you both have tried to make it work.
I am an older guy – I feel sorry for younger people as you have “ideal “ looks pushed at you 24/7 and if you vary from this unattainable “ideal” it’s easy to be convinced you are not attractive . I agree with the other comments – a warmth and inner glow of being comfortable in your own skin together with a genuine interest in others are very attractive qualities . So accept who you are, don’t look to others to validate who you are and embrace the many wonders that the world has to offer with kindness and curiosity- there are wonderful surprises in store if you stop looking inward and open your eyes to possibilities .
Probably right about the decision part, however it just amazed me (but not even that much) that she really didn't wanted to hear the reasons, it was lack of interest for sure, but the way she insisted on not wanting to hear them made me think it's more than just lack of interest.
Is your sister the one calling?
9 days ago they were only dating for “nearly nine months” and now they’ve been dating over a year… def a troll
You don't need evidence of bad treatment to talk to an abuse hotline! They can still help you, they won't make you do anything and they can give you information on how to be safe.
she's demonstrated EXTREME codependent traits
The thing is, if i move out, noone will be able to online with her, and my landlord (upstairs neighbor for 8 years) will have to deal with the fallout of eviction/handling the other bedrooms
If i kick her out, it's basically the same outcome because she'll eventually be made to leave.
I am NOT willing to get involved in helping with her healthcare any longer, i've provided her rides to clinics before, but I no longer wish to do that since she's continued to drink.
let's be honest, she is probably using her for sex. she is aromantic and probably not asexual.
He potentially distributed child porn, and has committed other crimes depending on where you online. Go to the police
Is op serious?
Eh. I think you can leave out your insecurities. Saying you don’t see a future together is reason enough.
Why does it piss you off that he asked to stop subdividing your rent, but only after you could actually afford it? It sounds like you’re both contributing your free time to make your lives together better. If he’s dealing in good faith with you, I can understand an honest disagreement here, but zero reason for you to be pissed off.
Next time she vents to you, just say “That's shitty.” and walk away. She berates, you say “Do better then.” Husband's aren't a punching bag us wives get to use. Point blank period.
I would take them to mean the same thing
FFS, you had your tonsils out, not your arms amputated.
He is working 12-hour shifts and you wake him up after you sat on your butt all day?
Yep, honestly sounds so unhealthy.
Clean this shit up now. You are young. Accept no bullshit
It was meant to be reductionist. And made you cough up circumstances that you hadn't (like who dumped whom).
Well, if I was BF2, I would feel used by you if you dumped me just to go for your ex, and if I was your ex and found out about everything, I would still feel weird. One way or another, you should break up with BF2, as it is unfair on him if you just keep comparing him to another guy. Then check if BF1 is available.
yeah… No. That is a fucking stretch if I've ever heard one. something tells me she wouldn't of stayed this long as she didn't fall in love.
Sorry this was replying to you.
I feel like that’s exactly it. He’s real good at throwing in my face. He said “group everything I bought for you and her and you won’t have nothing in your house” which is a lie, most of my stuff i bought smh. And he def won her over with gifts. He’s mad bc on kicking him out.
Please for the LOVE OF GOD DO NOT TELL HER. If you value your life, sanity, dignity… you wont do it. Its not safe for you or for her if you tell her. It could go a few ways, A: She doesnt believe you, and he is left to be able to retaliate against you. B: She does believe you and leaves and he now has it out for you AND possibly his wife for leaving with their child. C: she does believe you, but is too beaten and broken to do anything, and now he is out for you for interfering.
In all of those situations you lose help from the police because his “buddies” will back him 110% and cross lines you never would have thought possible.
In none of these situations would it be safe for you.
Your best bet would be to THINK RATIONALLY and avoid avoid avoid. And potentially move if youre able to.
Wanna unnecessarily inject drama and chaos into your own relationship? Follow up on this.
This woman knows the kind of guy she has and has decided to stay. You getting involved is going to backfire on you.
Reddit and open relationships lol
Makes you think 90% of the people in this sub are swingers.
There’s no saving she wants the money now run. Don’t be stupid
No, you're wrong. If there's enough lubrication the dick can enter fast, unfortunately. As OP described, in easier on missionary position. Unfortunately it happened to me and my fiancée once
He might me bad to everyone but he was nice to me
And you're supposed to use spermicide with male condoms but that rarely happens.
She's got to stop putting these ridiculous stories on the internet that is clearly not real. People are constantly posting stuff with ridiculous age differences they can't all be real.
This is one of those instances where you have to slow down and remember that you are not responsible for other people's choices, nor the consequences of their choices. All you can do is be a safe place for your nieces and nephews to come to if they ever need help. But it isn't your place to tell your SIL how many kids she can have or what to do with her body. Even expressing “concern” really is not your place. I think your best approach is to say “Not my circus, not my elephants.”
he doesnt let me leave or even think of anyone else. he keeps saying he is extremely loyal but would never let me touch his phone or see his conversations. whereas he has access to my phone and even tracks my conversations with everyone.
If you have any friends that saw? or sees you on a daily basis? That's probably the best advice you'll get. “Did you notice anything off?”. especially if it's a common friend.
Otherwise? you probably fell foul of her past trauma. She got cheated on or some other guy played games with her and you “looking” made her think of that.
It's the joy of dating as you get older… the dating pool is left with more and more damaged people. You can only do so much when accusations that you can't defend against are met with getting ghosted.
I simply think the solution is that they're not right for one another. The top comment is “nothing. You can't make him fly” like no shit Sherlock.
Yes im gonna end it
DTMFA
Your past is minimal at best, dont beat yourself up about it. Yes, he can have preferences, but he needs therapy because what he is saying is just off the wall. Move on and find the right guy.
Have another adult advocate for you. A grandparent, aunt/uncle, your dad can all have a talk with her about giving up a bit of control and giving you some independence.
Otherwise, talk to her yourself. “Mom, I understand that you worry but I've been managing my diabetes quite well for several years now. I need you to give me some independence and stop following me around. It's inappropriate and unnecessary. I do not need you trailing behind me with a bag of snacks anymore. I need you to show some trust in me.”
Why would you assume it's bad based on age alone when the only info you have is that he treats her well?
She sounds hella annoying. Imagine if she was into knitting and you came up and pulled away one of her needles and made her work unravel?
There is nothing wrong with caring about video games. We put time and effort into those, just like any other hobby.
I would find a girl who respects you