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Well for line if he says it isn't you believe him. It could be a medical problem or something else
Well it‘s a bit more dangerous now than 30 years ago.
Mind your own business. Follow your husband’s lead.
Are you trying to have a baby ? Does she want to have a baby?
Time to get rid of your “friend”
Dont worry about his stuff at your place. That should be a forfeit. Have a bonfire with it. Im so sorry this happened to you.
I appreciate that and I'm taking everything into mind now as i think I'm so deep into him i neglected everything everyone has said to me…
There is massive loss all around us. I know of people personally who died during the pandemic from Covid. I have seen the impact of loss from early death due to diseases and accidents. We have to understand that this is part of living.
She is going to be going through a lonely phase due to this and the fact that it’s not easy to meet people in general anyway who will stick with you into old age.
omg i was looking for comments pointing that out cuz that was so bizarre to me like “put itself to sleep” ????
The thing is that right now I find our relationship pretty balanced. She contacts me more than I do (I work a lot) and she organises most of our holidays and activities.
Well, your husband basically admitted to cheating. Don’t do anything you’re not comfortable with.
You do not have to be married to have a child. You do not have to have the child if you’re not ready. If you can, try to find a friend who can let you stay with them until you get on your feet. Take advantage of any social services in your area that you may qualify for. Your family can be chosen. They don’t have to be related to you. Lean on your friends for support.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Do what’s best for you and your baby. Your family may judge, but they aren’t you!
She has moved on you need to focus and being the best/healthiest version of yourself for you, because she is gone.
I would suggest cutting contact, because if you keep holding onto her by a thread you will not be able to heal and move on.
I could try that. I'm not comfortable with it, but its also very obvious when shes not sending me photos for just us anymore and I'm commenting on her social post photos.
She forged an 8k check a deed to his house and a 2k stole his brand new Durango. Along with his work truck too.
It’s a felony. I just spoke to the detective and they’re subpoenaing us bank and Huntington for allowing the checks to go through
The ring is a symbol of the contract to marry, if you don't wed the ring is his. Everything else was a gift to you and is yours, he can F*ck right off.
Don’t tell her. The fact that he’s trying to get back with you means he’ll react badly if you tell her and he works out it’s you. He would make your life hell at best and potentially physically harm you.
Usually I’d always suggest telling the wife but never when your ex is a police officer.
Are you able to give any more specifics? You’re being pretty vague on the actual situations where they’ve made you feel like this.
If your friends who know the actual situations are telling you you aren’t to blame, what different answers are you wanting from strangers here who know nothing about the situations?
I’m not sure how I’d bring up wanting to use condoms without him thinking I’m doubting him
Free Use is a kink that doesn’t require the partner to be into it. If anything the kink actively promotes the other party being indifferent to the act entirely.
How do you feel about light skinned Hispanics? Light skinned Native Americans? You’re a fool dude and deserved to be dumped. There isn’t anything you can do about it, you insulted her and her heritage. Do better in the future!
sounds like that person should never be invited to game night anymore.
I disagree. She’s already caretaker for her disabled husband and she knows she’s going to have to look after his son as well and she’s done.
She doesn’t have to give reasons – the reasons are already very obvious. She’s done. She’s not paying for a child that’s not hers – she doesn’t want the drama of the birth mother – she has had enough of caring for her disabled husband. It doesn’t make her a piece of shit.
Tell him he’s smothering you and not respecting your need for time to yourself and it’s not going to work out. Then block him.
My husband would never think to comment on my beauty routines or habits. Sure he prefers me natural but it’s not really up to him, it’s up to me. Honestly why does he even care? You’ve been with this guy for 2.5 years and he thinks he has some say in how you wear your face? Why does he think he has this authority? Why are you even entertaining his nonsense? If you want a lash lift, get a fucking lash lift. You’re a grown woman, aren’t you? I’m curious tho, what else does he try to control?
What the . . .
Why are you allowing yourself to be a second thought? He doesn’t think he has to do anything to keep you because you won’t leave.
I always say so, if he wanted to, he would, meaning, you’re not important enough for him to want to shower for you and make it a nice night. That speaks everything about him.
For me it was four years. We moved back, got myself a job, he travels a bit more, I’m with my parents, close to family. Message me if you want.
“I just don’t understand, where the man is who used to love me.”
This isn't love. This is control. He never loved you. He loved that he could control you. You will not get him to change. He doesn't want you to work because he knows that making your own money can give you freedom. As long as you're financially dependent on him, he believes you can't leave. You keep your job. You hire a divorce attorney. You get free of this manipulative, controlling asshat and start over. Go back to your family. Get on your feet and then go back and get your degree.
Isn’t healthy ANYMORE? Girl, when was it ever healthy? Be honest with yourself when you answer that. You say it’s been happening since month one, why would you drive yourself crazy with someone like that? He doesn’t want to hear you out, he isn’t open to discussion, he wants to say “that’s who I am” and for you just accept his bullshit. Nope. Never.
I’m an over-thinker, big time. I’m also plagued with anxiety because of it. But what I don’t do is make that my partners problem by accusing them of shit because I can’t stop my brain from thinking up weird things or scenarios.
Your bf needs therapy, not a girlfriend.
It sounds like food intolerances and IBS. He thinks it's normal because to him it's always been that way. If he won't see a doctor he should at least try an elimination diet to see if he can identify the worst foods. I have IBS and it can be very tricky to control and it can keep getting worse as you get older.
I understand that you are hurt & upset, and you are entitled to feel however you feel.
But honestly, I think you are making a mountain out of a mole hill here, and if you push this with him, you are going to do more harm than good to the relationship.
It sounds like he was simply venting to get things off his chest as a way to work out if they were valid issues that he needed to address with you. Sometimes in the heat of the moment problems can seem massive, but once that moment passes, you realise that you over reacted & whatever it was means nothing. So you let it go. It’s likely that is what he is doing.
She ain’t your girlfriend bro
Ask her if she would by ok if you slept at another girls house, in the bed with her.
Pretty don't mean shit . You can be pretty on the outside , ugly on the inside, and just shitty all together . You are the only “you” ever made . Be that and don't worry about the rest .
I understand your point. He has apologised for the lies he's made and said he'd better. If they continue i would probably have to consider leaving him. Because you are right there needs to be respect and kindness there. Its just very very hot to deal with the idea of leaving someone you love very much, I have never been in love before I met him
You accept that in order for this to work HE needs to take a stand and tell them no….And he should, His grandparents shouldn’t be manipulating him into doing things for them especially when they know he has his own life
I get the feeling no matter who he was with outside of their own choosing they would take issue no matter what so don’t take it personally and just accept he needs to say something and stop being a doormat to them
Problem is if you bring it up they’ll play the victim and dislike you even more
Mate you gave a girl, no, a fellow human, who needed help, your number. That makes you a good guy. Your GF is toxic as fuck.
I'm very sorry, but if he really wanted to be married to and have kids with you, he would already. The fact that he did not strongly suggests he does not, no matter what he is telling you.
He is 48 years old. He has already been married once, he knows how it's done. He already has a peri-pubescent child, so he know how that's done, too.
He knows that marriage and family are important to you, he knows that you've upended your life for him. Self-evidently, these things do not matter to him, or he would be taking concrete steps to get married, which he is not doing.
TL;DR: I'm very sorry, but the sunk cost fallacy applies here.
You're not far off a teenager, with those stars in your eyes and being so easily manipulated by a guy old enough to be your daddy.
No offense, just laying down the objective reality.
This is a poly relationship with the pregnant person and the reception involves an orgy
(since OP did not add details, I’m choosing to fill in the gaps as I see fit)
You’ve already taken one of the hardest steps — accepting you’re in an abusive relationship.
Come up with a plan. You need to make sure you have access to all your important documents (birth certificate, passports, ID, etc). It’s great that you have a job — make sure she cannot access your money. Change all your passwords. Check your phone to make sure she doesn’t have any location sharing apps turned on or your passcode or any PIN numbers.
Do not have sex with her under any circumstances. You don’t want her getting pregnant and keeping you trapped.
Do you have any money saved? Is there someone you could stay with for awhile? If you don’t have family or friends close by I would try and find a room to rent out, if you’re in a college town it shouldn’t be too naked. Start subtly packing up your important things.
Don’t drink with her anymore. You need to be sober from now on. Not only to help control your emotions but also in case she calls the police on you. So don’t get drunk. Tell your friends what your plan is, but make sure to delete any text or chat logs.
Once you find a place to stay take a day off work — when you know she will be working herself — and pack all your shit and go. You are only 23 years old. It’s not a coincidence she picked a younger, inexperienced person to date. Less likely to notice red flags and easier to manipulate — not because of intelligence but you have nothing else to compare too.
You don’t have to online like this. You have only been an adult for five years — you’re literally at the very beginning of your life. She’ll probably kill you if you stay. Don’t believe anything she says.
Abusive people are extraordinarily selfish and manipulative. Don’t tell her you’re leaving in advance because she will either hurt you or convince you that you can “save” her somehow.
That’s how many abusers convince their victims to stay. They create this narrative that it’s “us against the world”, only they understand you, only you can help them, you’re the only person they ever loved, they just need more help, they’ll promise to get better and change, etc.
The cycles of abuse are psychologically very similar to addiction. When the abuser is happy and loving the relief from the constant anxiety creates a huge dopamine rush. Then something triggers them and the nasty behavior starts all over.
So make your plan and get out once and never go back. Once you’re completely moved out text her one time and just say that you’re no longer happy in the relationship and you’ve decided to leave and please don’t contact me again. That’s it. No explanations, no arguments, no manifesto, no baiting. Then immediately block her everywhere before she responds.
Do not give her the opportunity to talk you out of it, especially since she may physically harm you again if she thinks she’s lost you for good. You will have an overwhelming feeling to have one last conversation and explain everything they did wrong and why you’re leaving and give them a last telling off but fucking crush that feeling to the ground.
I’ve known multiple people who were one step away from breaking free, but they had that one “final” argument and always managed to get sucked back in. “We’ll meet up later and talk” “Just let me say one thing” “I just need to grab this thing” “I have something I want to give you…”
Don’t let it happen. You know this is bad. Your friends know and her friends know. You deserve better. The relief you’ll feel once she’s out of your life will be immense.