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You don’t have a long term future together. That’s very clear. You won’t be able to raise children together. I’m not sure why you have to figure other details out.
That might forever cut into his confidence.
If he doesn't bring up the idea of buying such shoes, then don't ever do it.
Not with the women if you know you’re going to not let them know that you’re in a present relationship, maintain the boundary of not complaining to them about your relationship, and prevent over dependence on the friendship coming back, don’t catch yourself Doug. Anything you wouldn’t want to catch your gf doing…
Do the right thing and talk first, if it doesn't happen then break the relationship off and then you do what you need to. There is no point getting into marriage when the most basic need is unmet which can lead to frustrations on other fronts
There's no joke if you just state confusion. That the type of not-joke that 5 year olds get the giggles about and shout at the dinner table.
I hope he’s an ex?
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Why don’t you ask her?
“Therapy” as in individual counselling. I'm not suggesting couples counseling as the relationship is long over and it's now time to move on. Invest no more time, energy, effort than you already have.
Where is your mother, and why did she let you move in with a predator?
No, it was completely irrational because it didn't matter what she wanted, he didn't want her. He wanted to be with you, until you ruined it with your immature behavior.
This is between you and your husband, because none of this will work if his attitude doesn’t change.
The important question here is this: why doesn’t your husband care about your wellbeing? This pattern is detrimental to his wife’s physical and mental health… I’m baffled as to how he can see this as “not a problem.”
It’s not that difficult for adults to say to other adults, “the overnights aren’t working for us anymore.” But if he’s unwilling to give a shit about your health, then this will turn into some absurd cliche of a nagging wife ruining the husband’s playtime.
Seriously wtf? Why doesn’t he care?
Becoming a better version of myself. Maturing. Which I have done lots of
Spend some time thinking about your priorities. All you can do is either become okay with it and date her, or decide you aren’t okay with it and break up.
This is not the place to decide if you have Schizophrenia. Some borderlines do hear voices, but they have a whole load of other symptoms too, and a doctor will need to sort that all out. Either way, you should go in now while you are lucid.
Honey, he has a porn addiction.
It's a fact. It's not your anxiety, you're not making things up.
This is going to be hot to hear but you need to hear it. You are better off alone. You will be happier alone. You will feel more loved alone.
You have consistently pushed your feelings aside to try to win his love, it's part of why your anxiety is so bad now. Honey, when you ignore your feelings, when you shove them down instead of expressing them, they end up bubbling out in unexpected ways. They show up as anxiety/depression or anger. You need to feel your feelings. You need to express yourself and feel heard.
Your partner is abusing you. He is using your anxiety to hide his addiction. He is taking advantage of your self esteem and using it to get away with treating you poorly.
You deserve a partner that wants to have sex with you. You deserve a partner that would choose your blowjob over porn. You deserve a partner who treats you with love and respect at all times.
I know it feels impossible but you are strong enough to do this on your own. You deserve to know what life is like when you love yourself. You are worthy of love and compassion, especially from yourself. A good therapist can help undo the damage he has done. You never deserved to be treated this way.
He is in denial, he has an addiction and he cannot just decide that he doesn't need help.
You don't need to sink with this ship.
If Grandma can insist on things, she should have insisted bio dad didn't abandon you for 13 years
Wait, your BF is upset about you having one hookup or he’s upset that you lied (did you eventually tell him the truth)?
These are good questions.
11 years old can be a tricky age. There could be some behavioural things going on. Or the step-mom could be jealous of the father’s love for her (I know, I know, different kind of love, but it’s a common step-parent problem).
OP should be trying to build up the daughter’s relationship with the rest of her family. Anything less is accepting neglect and trauma for his little girl.
And it's not your place to judge my opinion on it. It's called “the internet”, where what we say doesn't matter, but what we say it anyway. We can all get over it ~ practice what ya preach.
Spot on
Going by the reaction you probably criticized the one gift he was proud of.
He sounds very insecure and immature kinda like this is an excuse to end things. Or maybe just so hurt by this that it is a red flag about his internalized toxic masculinity?
I feel like if you maybe give him some space for a few days (ie maybe 3 but less than a week) and reach out to him again and he isn’t willing to have a real conversation about this it’s maybe for the best to move on.
I’ve never gotten a pass and honestly have dated women who had a huge issue with me even being friends with other women while giving themselves all of the passes. Uhhh huh.