12 thoughts on “YuriOgata on-line sex cams for YOU!”
He cut contact with his own daughter over her career choices? Unless she's laying her life on the line for the military, he wants nothing to do with her? He's more concerned about her husband's RACE than whether he treats her well? Does that sound like a parent's unconditional love to you? To me it doesn't even sound like a decent person, let alone parent.
Now, instead of doing the very hot work to make amends for what he's done, he chooses to manipulate you and the rest of the family, and disrupt your sister's life, to USE her, to get to her daughter. He doesn't even care that he could damage even more of his relationships with family members, as long as he gets to meet your niece?
This is all so messed up its almost not even a matter of opinion. Like, it's one step away from being an objective fact: he doesn't deserve to meet his granddaughter, and he would be a toxic presence in her life if he did.
Like several other commenters, I went NC with my dad several years ago. My sister was the only person in the family who respected my choice, and she is now the only one I speak to.
I believe there are two “right” ways for you to handle this: either stay out of it completely, or take your sister's side and tell your dad he's going to lose you, too, if he doesn't cut it out.
Okay, so I can understand and respect hoping your partner will protect you from yourself from time to time, but that's also something that needs to be communicated and agreed upon i.e “I don't drink often, so sometimes at big events I don't realize how very hot it hits me, would you be okay maybe checking on me from time to time so I don't make a fool of myself”
I think the biggest concern in this situation is his total and complete aversion to standing up for himself and you while your roommates blatantly disrespect you both and your property. Not exactly a characteristic you want in a life partner.
knocking up to lock you in? what are you an object or a human being, you are absolutely instinctively right to want to break up, your gut feeling is spot on!
You’re not going to like my advice but I wish someone had taken a moment to clue me in when I was dealing with this sort of stuff so I wouldn’t have wasted so much time in my marriage.
Leave him. And get regular STI tests.
Throughout my (44F) marriage, there were several times when I found something that made me think maybe my husband was gay or bi. On more than one occasion, I discussed it with him and told him that if he wanted to be with men, we could open the relationship but that I needed him to keep me safe emotionally (tell the truth) and physically (use protection). He swore up and down that I was misinterpreting things or reading into things and he wasn’t into men.
Well fast forward through a few years of this and I was paying bills and checked out cell phone accts. His daughters were on our plan and sometimes went over data so I tried to monitor in case I needed to add data or remind the kids to use Wi-Fi when visiting their mom.
Well….I checked the last month then current and with only 11 days into the billing cycle? There were 900+ messages to/from the same number. All times of day and night and I got worried about eldest daughter so I looked more closely. It wasn’t her acct, it was my husband’s. So I called the number and introduced myself as X’s wife and the man hung up. I called my husband and flat out asked him if he was having an affair. He was. Infield for divorce the next day.
Not only had he been totally gaslighting me, he gave me some incurable STI’s because guess what? Wasn’t using protection and we had a pretty healthy sex life ourselves.
Putting it all together after the fact…he really pulled the wool over my eyes. I even found out that he had come out to his parents as gay between divorcing his first wife and meeting me.
Now….I really felt for him on the one hand. Grew up in a conservative community, family pretty homophobic, worried he’d lose custody of his kids if the ex wife found out, etc. I can’t imagine what it must feel like to not be able to be your authentic self.
But JFC. He put me through mental hell for years making me think I was crazy! Crazy when I found all the dick pics on our home computer that had synced from his phone while he was on a business trip—thought the kids were receiving these from some pervert. Him not coming home after work outings and saying he was too drunk so stayed with a colleague. Him all of a sudden dressing nicer and working out. There were so many other things.
Anyway. I’m a pretty sex positive and open minded person but I couldn’t take that he put me at physical risk—especially after I told him so many times that I would be okay with him seeing men if he’d just be safe.
I sincerely doubt that’s all your husband has done. Mine said this affair was his first and I don’t believe it for a hot minute. He trickle truth’s things out over the months that we still had to on-line together while going through our divorce and I’m sure I never got the full history.
I’m sorry. I know it’s kind of devastating but I’d just get out.
FWIW, I told him that I wasn’t going to tell his kids or family but he needed to inform all that we were divorcing. I told him I wasnt going to lie for him though. On our wedding anniversary, his mother called to wish us a happy one and asked what our plans were and asked to talk to him. I told her “sorry, he’s at his boyfriend’s, you’ll have to call him” because after 6 mos of having to pretend and wait for him to come clean, I was done. Know what he told everyone ? That he divorced me because I was a raging alcoholic.
I tried empathy and kindness. I got HSV2 and HPV. Both of which impact me years later.
He didn’t blow just one guy one time, honey. He was testing the waters telling you about one “small” thing. It’s not a small thing.
Wrong. You are actively failing your daughter- fighting with your wife does nothing. Your wife still treats your daughter like shit, and gets no consequences for doing so. Your wife is abusing your daughter and you are doing nothing to get her out of that situation. By staying in this situation you are also failing your sons. You think this dynamic is healthy for them?
people deal with grief/loss in all sorts of ways. Give him some time to process. Maybe he's a sociopath and legitimately doesn't care at all that she died, but more likely he just doesn't know how to feel about losing someone who hasn't been part of his life for a while, but used to be very important. That's a weird situation.
He cut contact with his own daughter over her career choices? Unless she's laying her life on the line for the military, he wants nothing to do with her? He's more concerned about her husband's RACE than whether he treats her well? Does that sound like a parent's unconditional love to you? To me it doesn't even sound like a decent person, let alone parent.
Now, instead of doing the very hot work to make amends for what he's done, he chooses to manipulate you and the rest of the family, and disrupt your sister's life, to USE her, to get to her daughter. He doesn't even care that he could damage even more of his relationships with family members, as long as he gets to meet your niece?
This is all so messed up its almost not even a matter of opinion. Like, it's one step away from being an objective fact: he doesn't deserve to meet his granddaughter, and he would be a toxic presence in her life if he did.
Like several other commenters, I went NC with my dad several years ago. My sister was the only person in the family who respected my choice, and she is now the only one I speak to.
I believe there are two “right” ways for you to handle this: either stay out of it completely, or take your sister's side and tell your dad he's going to lose you, too, if he doesn't cut it out.
Thank you, it took me so much time and so much getting back together with her to show me things will never change
Shes 29. Stop wasting her time and propose or break up with her.
Have you actually told his parents that you ended the relationship because he cheated on you? I don’t think they have the full story.
Okay, so I can understand and respect hoping your partner will protect you from yourself from time to time, but that's also something that needs to be communicated and agreed upon i.e “I don't drink often, so sometimes at big events I don't realize how very hot it hits me, would you be okay maybe checking on me from time to time so I don't make a fool of myself”
I think the biggest concern in this situation is his total and complete aversion to standing up for himself and you while your roommates blatantly disrespect you both and your property. Not exactly a characteristic you want in a life partner.
She's not in a bad situation though?
RUUUUUUUN
knocking up to lock you in? what are you an object or a human being, you are absolutely instinctively right to want to break up, your gut feeling is spot on!
What do you mean what do you do? He fucked up, lied about it, and instead of owning up to it and working to earn your trust back, he disappeared.
What you do is end this relationship.
You’re not going to like my advice but I wish someone had taken a moment to clue me in when I was dealing with this sort of stuff so I wouldn’t have wasted so much time in my marriage.
Leave him. And get regular STI tests.
Throughout my (44F) marriage, there were several times when I found something that made me think maybe my husband was gay or bi. On more than one occasion, I discussed it with him and told him that if he wanted to be with men, we could open the relationship but that I needed him to keep me safe emotionally (tell the truth) and physically (use protection). He swore up and down that I was misinterpreting things or reading into things and he wasn’t into men.
Well fast forward through a few years of this and I was paying bills and checked out cell phone accts. His daughters were on our plan and sometimes went over data so I tried to monitor in case I needed to add data or remind the kids to use Wi-Fi when visiting their mom.
Well….I checked the last month then current and with only 11 days into the billing cycle? There were 900+ messages to/from the same number. All times of day and night and I got worried about eldest daughter so I looked more closely. It wasn’t her acct, it was my husband’s. So I called the number and introduced myself as X’s wife and the man hung up. I called my husband and flat out asked him if he was having an affair. He was. Infield for divorce the next day.
Not only had he been totally gaslighting me, he gave me some incurable STI’s because guess what? Wasn’t using protection and we had a pretty healthy sex life ourselves.
Putting it all together after the fact…he really pulled the wool over my eyes. I even found out that he had come out to his parents as gay between divorcing his first wife and meeting me.
Now….I really felt for him on the one hand. Grew up in a conservative community, family pretty homophobic, worried he’d lose custody of his kids if the ex wife found out, etc. I can’t imagine what it must feel like to not be able to be your authentic self.
But JFC. He put me through mental hell for years making me think I was crazy! Crazy when I found all the dick pics on our home computer that had synced from his phone while he was on a business trip—thought the kids were receiving these from some pervert. Him not coming home after work outings and saying he was too drunk so stayed with a colleague. Him all of a sudden dressing nicer and working out. There were so many other things.
Anyway. I’m a pretty sex positive and open minded person but I couldn’t take that he put me at physical risk—especially after I told him so many times that I would be okay with him seeing men if he’d just be safe.
I sincerely doubt that’s all your husband has done. Mine said this affair was his first and I don’t believe it for a hot minute. He trickle truth’s things out over the months that we still had to on-line together while going through our divorce and I’m sure I never got the full history.
I’m sorry. I know it’s kind of devastating but I’d just get out.
FWIW, I told him that I wasn’t going to tell his kids or family but he needed to inform all that we were divorcing. I told him I wasnt going to lie for him though. On our wedding anniversary, his mother called to wish us a happy one and asked what our plans were and asked to talk to him. I told her “sorry, he’s at his boyfriend’s, you’ll have to call him” because after 6 mos of having to pretend and wait for him to come clean, I was done. Know what he told everyone ? That he divorced me because I was a raging alcoholic.
I tried empathy and kindness. I got HSV2 and HPV. Both of which impact me years later.
He didn’t blow just one guy one time, honey. He was testing the waters telling you about one “small” thing. It’s not a small thing.
Wrong. You are actively failing your daughter- fighting with your wife does nothing. Your wife still treats your daughter like shit, and gets no consequences for doing so. Your wife is abusing your daughter and you are doing nothing to get her out of that situation. By staying in this situation you are also failing your sons. You think this dynamic is healthy for them?
people deal with grief/loss in all sorts of ways. Give him some time to process. Maybe he's a sociopath and legitimately doesn't care at all that she died, but more likely he just doesn't know how to feel about losing someone who hasn't been part of his life for a while, but used to be very important. That's a weird situation.
Start packing your bags? Start leaving? Tell him to fuck off and go to a sex worker if he's so insistent on being transactional?