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  1. I don’t think it’s good…but how did you find out later?

    If I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt, it’s that the friends are sort of benignly ignorant to queer politics and maybe they don’t know much about them or the topic may not be that interesting to them. Not great, and nothing for him to apologize for but I guess I understand if they don’t have much to say on the matter? Idk. I think you need to ask him a little more about it.

  2. Yeah. I was in mourning of my last relationship for over a year before I finally broke it off. The relief felt amazing.

  3. Okay, so we don't know when it supposedly happened but you say that you spend every today together. How realistic is it for him to go on a date and then sleep with a girl on the same day?

    Not to ask too personal and private questions but if you guys are happy and satisfied in your relationship then there should be no reasons for him to be cheating on you with other women.

    And, if he did, then why would he share this with someone that knows you? Sure, he could have done it to show off or boast etc or he is just very dumb but again, it's less likely

  4. Stop being a pussy. I don’t say it to be mean. Men are pussies about talking about feelings. I am too. It’s your kid get over it and tell him how you feel. It’s not easy you just gotta do it.

  5. You don't need to be this nice to someone who doesn't treat you equally (not about the amount of money). Also in the back of your mind, you wouldve always had a question for yourself is it worth it? I dont wanna give him anything. You already know the answer. Just stop treating him like that. Do the same as he does. He doesn't deserve your kindness and effort you put in.

  6. I think he just enjoys your attention and the flirting, it makes him feel attractive and noticed. Seems like that's where it ends for him. Sorry, this is super awkward. It's a really bad idea to try to date people at work precisely for this reason – when it doesn't go well, you still need to regularly interact.

  7. Guy kissed you but you didn’t. So, you’re are innocent. Don’t worry. And you love your husband very much but you can’t control yourself when you are with this guy. It’s not your fault, is it?

  8. u/ActualAd2032, it looks like you're trying to post a throwaway submission. Your account is too young and/or your comment karma is too low.

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  9. u/Kate_019, it looks like you're trying to post a throwaway submission. Your account is too young and/or your comment karma is too low.

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  10. Brother, if a person “falls from the third floor” and survives and does it again two more times, then it is no longer an accident, I wish you luck so that you find the correct answer.

  11. u/OkTranslator5021, it looks like you're trying to post a throwaway submission. Your account is too young and/or your comment karma is too low.

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  12. Is a nurse cheating when she put a catheter into a penis? Am I cheating when I implant an embryo. No she is dumb. Unless you are getting sexual wit them its just a part of the job.

  13. I appreciate this comment. He does have ADHD and it is not medicated or being treated really right now.

    I didn't get diagnosed with ADHD until I was 30, never once screamed at a partner ever (still haven't either).

    Hasn't for years as far as I'm aware. I'm not sure if he would acknowledge how I feel….I tend to avoid talking about triggers around him.

    That's called “walking on eggshells”, it's unsustainable and soul destroying.

    When I calmly confronted him about his yelling at me, blaming me for the septic problem…I was standing up for myself, but also wary it could be a trigger…he got angry and said he'd scream at me again if necessary. I will avoid that topic now. It's definitely a trigger.

    Everything's a “trigger” for abusive assholes.

  14. I understand, it’s very hard to move on when it’s sudden and for seemingly no reason. He sounds like he has a lot going on in his life right now and snapped under pressure. If that means he’ll reach out to rekindle things or not, that’s up in the air. Him suggesting proposing and ring shopping though is kind of a glimpse into where his head was at either out of stress or societal pressure but you were right for telling him to hold off since you were only 7 months in. It sounds like he has a lot to sort out honestly, hopefully he’s taking that time off to sort it out. But like I said just take it with grace and try to keep living your life, if he does come back to you though I’d be wary about moving too fast to rekindle things because people do break up for a reason even if that reason isn’t always apparent.

  15. Hello /u/ThrowRA9987_,

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  16. Mid30s here, I would not go for boys so young, it feels so wrong, like dating a child. The maturity levels are more different than you can imagine. The max age diff I'm comfortable with is 5 years, maybe 7 if the guy has the right qualities personality wise.

  17. Pay child support but terminate all rights with a judge so that you are legally off the hook.

    There is an old reddit post on bestoflegaladvice where a male poster pressured his ex just like you were and he got the kid while she terminated her rights and paid childsupport. He was whining trying to get her to see the kid but reddit completely shot him how so I don’t know why they’re attacking you now

  18. But it is about the fact that there is nothing remotely sexual about getting changed in a hockey locker room.

    OP has already said he tried to “reverse roles” with his girlfriend and she said it wouldn't bother her.

  19. Hey no worries. It's not super common and it's usually utilized when other things don't work.

    I do agree that a doctor would be a good idea because she might need a sleep study or they might have a better prescription suggestion.

  20. Like I said my bad my comment been on the one thing you can read all my comments and not once I made a different stance her main post made it seem he didn’t have a jealous issue but in the comments she quickly revealed that he does. That just bad on me for not reading the comment but usual Reddit comments are either one of 2 voice break up or cheating so I was trying look at objectively and not just give the main Reddit response

  21. It feels like you want this marriage to work, you are putting in the work to fix it, but you are doing this by yourself. It also seems like he doesn't want to be the bad guy and admit it and therefore the onus is on you to leave likely so he can blame you for it. By design or not he is not putting in any effort into your marriage.

    I wonder if he would upset/disappoint his family and friends if he chose to leave? what is stopping him?

    What is stopping you going back to somewhere you loved and enjoyed being and follow your dreams? Who would you be disappointing in leaving your marriage. There doesn't have to be a big reason honestly. Your values are different is all it can be. No fault and no blame. (of course he is the one that cheated but he is avoiding accepting his fault and I guess you cannot make him admit it).

    Look into reasons for divorce in UT, consult a lawyer or two about how to split amicably. Discuss in a rational way with him that you feel your needs and his are different and you felt much happier down south and miss your friends there. Life doesn't have to be about big arguments and loud breakups, there are small ones and quiet ones as well.

    Even if he does paint you the bad guy, so what, you get to live! where no one cares about that, where you can be happy and free and enjoy life rather than be miserable living with him in a place that doesn't hold any joy for you.

  22. Op, you have to realize that disagreement is not hate. I also disagree with your behavior but still want to figure out how this will pan out.

    You threw away a real relationship for a fantasy and you don't realize that you are doing it. You don't really know this guy. And even tho you are saying a lot of bad things about your husband, I would bet that you were not a better wife than he was a husband.

    Either way, try to do the best for yourself and your kids and I hope you don't regret this.

  23. Keeping a journal is exactly how I would do it, maybe even writing down the things I felt like telling them about my day and stuff to see how much I actually wanted to share and talk to them

  24. In that vein, just always be wearing Disney gear, and if she points the camera at you start singing Disney copyrighted material. They're super litigious.

  25. Communication is key. If it's still weighing on your mind just take him aside and ask him whatever it is that's bothering you (if hes checking them out all the time or whatever). To answer your question, I don't think it's normal. I think his response was a bit insensitive. With a question like that I think most men in a committed relationship would say Sure they're pretty but they're just friends. But every relationship treats those situations differently. If it's not bothering you, let it go

  26. you will not be able to adopt her child without the father giving up his rights. Good luck in the future, something tells me you are going to need it!

  27. You’re right but I need a place to rant and I feel like this relationship is wearing me down x100. He is so fixated on what he thinks is right he will stop himself from making comments I said I didn’t like ONE TIME

  28. Getting engaged and buying a house (right now) would be really silly considering he can’t respect your boundary and is gaslighting you. He’s trying to make you think you’re overthinking it and being paranoid. The man knows what he’s doing.

  29. Men are very competitive. The fact that he sees this friend every week is probably tough for him. He should get a therapist so he can work through these complicated feelings instead of passive aggressively throwing it in your face.

  30. Not strange. They arbitrarily chose 5 dates and someone else uses three dates and you choose 11 dates.

    Although your case is more interesting because at least the other dates are not related to being in a relationship.

    But for yours, you're basically saying on Saturday, you don't want to have sex if you're just dating, but if on Sunday you have become boyfriend and girlfriend, you'll have sex.

    In other words for you it's not so much about checking compatibility or emotional connection , it's just about having that label.

    You did also add the part about “serious relationship” but then you have the part about 11 dates as well.

    So maybe you do actually mean you want an emotional connection with the other person, AND being boyfriend girlfriend, which means you better tell your partner that it could be more than 11 dates, if that's the case.

    Tell them and then they'll make a decision if they want to wait or not.

  31. I would have felt awful also.

    So… going by her mothers saying… this looks like a bunch of entiteled people.

    Feeling they are owed it all. And have nothing to return ever.

    “Boor, depose it in front of my feet, then retire with a reverence of worship.”

    I am not a fan of telling people to leave relationships if there is a tiny hint of there being hope of changement.

    But going by all these people willingly taking gifts and non really making you feel appreciated… that seems to be typical for them.

    Wow… the amount of money gone down the drain there…!

    OP… what did you do to yourself there? (hugs).

  32. I don’t even know why he hasn’t tried to record or wake me up. I ask him so many times to do that cause I don’t want to be dreaming about someone else ? . Definitely getting a sleep app now

  33. He’s not causing that, you did.

    If the rest of the relationships in your life suffer it’s because you couldn’t keep your dick in your pants. Don’t blame him for the damage caused by your actions.

  34. Hire security. Or uninvite him all together. Don't let him ruin your wedding because he has the needs to act like a child.

  35. I had to kick him out. He yelled that he was a pedophile (he’s not, that’s his delusion) and my 13 year old heard. I hate this disease so much, I love him deeply but I have to protect my children.

  36. Imma put this real short, your ex made her choice, she went off, got railed by some dude she thought was better, he didn't want her, now she wants you back, I guarantee you, I fking guarantee you, she thought she found better and thinks you're “the backup”.. fuck that, go with the new girl rather than the one who already made it clear you're not her first choice

  37. Would you bother showing the photos to your partner if you ended up sleeping with the photographer though? Almost like it's evidence of the events leading upto it lol

  38. INFO: How long ago did you and your wife decide to divorce?

    Are you SURE she doesn't know you're getting divorced in the near future?

  39. You are not attracting them, you are accepting them. “They start off great”, you must be missing or ignoring all of the red flags that I'm sure are there from the start. You must have a really big heart and a big tolerance for BS. The good men are out there, but you will have a hard time meeting them if you're mothering and enabling losers all the time.

  40. Yeah, wow. All way more red-flaggy than a bad joke. I certainly wouldn't be moving in with her.

  41. I have to disagree on the herpes. It’s already so stigmatized as is even though the majority of the population has it, and perpetuating that by weaponizing paranoia about it really rubs me the wrong way

  42. He regularly told me I was selfish, uncaring, not warm, I treat him like crap etc and would constantly compare us to other couples

    He didn't like you, I'd say that's ample reason.

    He also was mean and hypocritical keeping a prior hookup around front and center who had enough encouragement and confidence to confront you in public.

  43. Sounds like a complete douche bag. I would just call him out directly and to his face. You can do it respectfully but you need to be firm and serious. “Hey so-and-so, you seem like a nice enough guy but I have to say that your incessant requests for hard pictures of me is really bothering me. I do not send naked pictures of myself to anyone and particularly someone I don't know well. Your constant badgering is really turning me off and you sending dick pics doesn't help either. If you'd like to continue talking that would be fine but I will discontinue if this is going to be the the nature of our interactions. I hope you can understand where I am coming from.”

    He will probably clam up and say you are a prude or whatever because he is a total fucking immature turd. So if he does do not let it get to you at all. Honestly you are better off without him! Good for you for not sending pics. The moment you break up or whatever they get sent everywhere. Plus he sounds like a douche so he is totally the type who will show all of his friends.

  44. Even if you’re “the bad one” there is no way you deserve this kind of situation as punishment. Like did you sell the souls of his unborn children to the devil? If you’re so bad, why can’t he just leave you alone.

  45. To make it worse I know she cheated on her last two boyfriends. She’s adamant she has out all cards on the table but idk what to believe anymore.

  46. How about you cite your sources in stead of personally attacking people, then? How can you say “50-805” as if it's a fact if you, in fact, HAVE none?

    Let me put it in terms you may understand: Sources good. Assumptions based on our own narrow minds and presenting them as facts, bad.

  47. You definitely need to leave him, he’s being abusive at this point.

    You might have a lot of history, but he’s mean to you, and you don’t deserve that. I know it seems like the time spent will be lost or wasted, but better to get out now than to find yourself with him and ten years and wonder where your life went, ya know?

    He’s not a good person and he’s not a good partner. Imagine how he would treat your kids. Tell him that he makes me sad more often than he makes you happy so you’re leaving

  48. I’m going to give a little perspective from someone who has lived in a country other than the one I grew up in. It’s naked to return home to your non native country after a visit to your native one. You see all of your friends and family and get to eat all of the food you’ve been missing. You question going back and obviously, some people decide not to. My point is that this isn’t about you. It might just be about him wanting to move home. He probably loved and cared about you like you thought he did but one person might not be enough to sustain him in a country where he doesn’t want to live!.

    So what should you do with that perspective? Dump him and move on. Don’t feel like you weren’t good enough or that your relationship wasn’t real or whatever other things might creep into your mind. Be thankful for the time you had together. Find peace in the fact that not everything is about you. You are worthy of love and you’ll find it in someone else.

  49. It's cheating regardless of it's the same sex or not. Not sure why anyone would think differently.

    Your wife was intimate with someone else.

    If she actually loved you, she wouldn't have done it. Period. The end.

    So, get yourself a lawyer. I'd even go have another conversation with her and record it, get her to admit to the cheating again.

    Divorce her, cut your losses, and look for someone who you can actually spend your life with.

  50. Clearly this person is not mature – 23 and using social media like a 14 year old? It’s a bit ridiculous. She’s made her feelings clear, move on and don’t waste any more of your own time.

  51. I get drunk and absolutely do not grope my friends men. That isn't okay. I'd break up with her. She doesn't respect you or your ex bf. Imagine if a guy was grabbing on a woman's body and his friend said “Oh he was just drunk. He doesn't mean it. He gets rapey when he drinks. It's not his fault.” Gross.

  52. Stalking IS bad. Either he's not doing that and you're making a mountain out of a molehill, or he is doing it and you're enabling him. But you can't describe him in those terms and expect people to condone your behaviour and reactions

  53. Definitely isn’t hitting me up for romance, it’s not like we will hook up. But there is mutual feelings both ways. I understand that might be difficult to understand, but that’s kinda how the situation is. “Well then why aren’t you guys dating” because it’s never really been possible for us. Especially now that we live! far away. So yes, she does just want to catch up, so do I. Maybe this sub wasn’t the right place to ask because the idea of “sex partner” is super far off from the truth. We’re literally just best friends that have had feelings for each other for years. The more important thing is that we’re best friends.

    We still talk quite often. We’re friends first not potential sex partners or whatever. So I feel like blowing her off is a dick move…

  54. Having a good family is worth more than all the gold in the world so keep on putting them above any bf that comes into your life, when you find one who accepts you AND your family then you will know that he's the right one. 🙂 You're young and have a good head on your shoulders, you'll find the right one. 🙂

  55. I don’t know if there was. I know they were obsessed with each-other, worked together, went to school together, gave all of their time to each-other and had no time for themselves. They were very emotionally invested into each-other. I remember him saying that she tried to turn her friends against him towards the end of their relationship when they were constantly fighting. Then they broke up and she went to date one his his friends, and they are still together. That’s all I know

  56. Correct me if I'm wrong, but my understanding is that the gestational period for a human being is nine months.

  57. “I doubt myself a lot because of this.”

    Dude she’s emotionally manipulating you and some level you know she is. You’ve been together since your early teens break it off with her and date around to find out what else is out there. This is not someone you want to spend the rest of your life with.

  58. Omg I’m so sorry about what happened to you.

    But also, no person can do the things your bf has done and is doing and still be a good person. It’s mutually exclusive. So he’s a bad person. Do you want to date a bad person?

  59. Oh so she had no expenses and you still had to provide everything for her? Well that makes everything all better.


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