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I get what you mean, it is nude to give all the context in such a small post.
For instance, she’s a struggling college student and instead of encouraging her to focus on her grades he will come over all the time even though he knows she can’t study. He knows she’ll get distracted etc., I think it’s sweet but not a great influence.
He also met her when she just turned 18 and he was 22 which I find to be a red flag. She just left home and she’s his first real gf. He is moving in with her and her sister even though he just met her less than a year ago.
Ever since they started dating, Ella has made virtually no friends and spends all her free time w him. Me and Izzy (other roomate) see her bc we live! together but next year she’ll only have him. And maybe it’s enough for her, but I feel like she has tunnel vision.
I still do see your point, maybe stagnant was a strong word.
Shucks! Well, she’s just a jerk then. I’m sorry she was a jerk to you.
He let me cuddle him while I cried lol
I have a truly beautiful marriage, one you read about, or see in movies. He’s the most perfect father, the best husband, but even when we fight or have issues come up, I joke how I could never say anything negative about him as a father. He adores and celebrates our daughter in every way. That being said, on multiple occasions he has said he would not be able to care for her if something happened to me. Not because he’s a bad father, (the best, actually), but because he’s a good father and knows at least initially after losing me he wouldn’t be able to care for her. He’s said he would either die, or end up as a bar man. I think your husband saying this has more to do with love than it might seem.
I'm not sure if you just havent had relationships before, or you're scared of being alone, but your relationship sounds terrible, why on earth would you try and save it?
What about a minimum effort boyfriend that banishes you to the living room for months, doesn't want to be with you and cheats on you says “omg he's definitely the one!”
Have some self respect, report him and leave.
I feel like it might just be a case of verbal diarrhea. Does he usually struggle saying more intimate, romantic things to you? He did backtrack, so he probably knew he should have dug deeper and actually cracked the nut a little.
This doesn’t bode well… you sure you want to marry somebody who becomes passive aggressive, dismissive, takes the wind outta your sails, and tries to control/judge things you value and choose to spend your own money on?
Tell him bachelor/ette parties are a waste of money, as well as groomsmen/bridesmaid's and the gifts for them.
My wife and I had the most budget conscious wedding you could imagine and she still had someone come and do her hair and makeup.
It's clear your fiance doesn't understand that people go to school for this and are genuinely talented at it, deserving respect. He needs to be shown how much time and skill is required to be in the wedding hair/makeup industry and gain some respect.
Guy here
Sex with someone you legitimately love >>> sex with someone you don't give a shit about (even if it's conventionally “better”
Don't sweat it so much ??
he had to read them and find poetry that made him think of you. maybe he wished he wrote them. break up if you want though.
Yep, I am American. He does get social security, but it's not much from what I can tell.
Ask for advice …. doesn't like any of it….doesn't respond.
I don't understand how she has relationship issues ?
It's easy to compare but we can't replace a moment. What we do is make better moments with deeper meaning that are you. We all have a past, use that information to add to your relationship and make it better and more fun!
This sounds like the dumbest thing an adult could get hung up on. “I walked over and silently stood there, now I'm mad the person I live! with and see constantly didn't drop everything to acknowledge me when she was already having a conversation with someone else.” This makes raging insecurities look like confidence lol. Get over yourself – your wife is allowed to have casual conversations with men who aren't you, and thinking she doesn't is how you let your insecurities and selfishness wreck your marriage. Ask my ex husband how I know.
If you intend to have a long lasting relationship, then fertility is their business. Though you can get around that by saying you intend to be child free and leaving it at that for awhile. By the time you're having sex though, this information should be on the table, and no longer a secret in a committed relationship
Why are you trying to be this controlling of your friend's life? That's a red flag in itself.
Let her make her own choices and follow her own path.
You keep saying you just want to explain yourself…what exactly do you think you could explain to make his feelings around this different? He knows exactly what happened, giving him your twisted thought process that you just know you think she's hotter and that he'd let you have dibs if yall both spotted her at a bar isn't going to change anything. Because you didn't both spot her at the bar at the same time and pick one of you to have dibs (I mean that's already gross behavior but), so it's really not relevant. All that is is you grasping at straws looking for mitigating circumstances that will make what you did less bad. Spare your friend the twisted trip through your “logical” reasoning you hurt him enough already and it literally doesn't change a single thing about what you did.
This. ??
Thank you for the reply, I am curious if I say no to Ashley but suggest meeting someone new how she would react to that. I agree that this is about her and her gratification, this is presented as something for “us” but really its all about her in the end.
Your boyfriend sounds like a bit of an idiot and very immature
If you’re having a depressive episode and he thinks it’s ok to make you feel worse by telling you your flaws? Honey you need a better boyfriend. This is not ok
I was extremely upset to find out my ex got married/ was in a new relationship. He was my first love/ first relationship. I have ZERO feelings for him. Me being upset doesn’t mean I want to be married to him or I feel jealous. It’s weird to explain.
How can I fix this?
You need to understand that marriage and child-rearing require extremely personal and difficult conversations. Conversations where you have to be painfully realistic about money, about time, about expectations, about the present, and about the future.
You need to be able to have those conversations without personalizing them, centering yourself/ego in them, without escalating constantly, and without assuming worst intentions.
A wife saying, “It will give me time to focus on my blog” is one thing when the couple is childless and, basically, without any responsibility. With the responsibility and importance of kids on the way, that can sound frivolous. And when that same wife is fighting back nude against anything that might seem difficult, that is a very worrying sign about REAL difficult situations that inevitably come with children.
So to fix this, think without any ego or defensiveness about what his obvious concerns are (money, maturity, focus) and think of ways to genuinely reassure him that everything is going to be good, you hear his concerns, you validate them, and he can trust you to work WITH him on them.
Could be injecting between the toes and she doesn’t see it there.
It's the infamous Vagina Spammer. Report and ignore.
Never hurts. But just breathe and don't let yourself make up problems. Enjoy your relationship!!!
I'm not sure if you're just out of a long term relationship and back on the dating scene but these would be seen as reasonably standard questions for people dating.
She wants to establish boundaries with you and wants to know if you can communicate, your wants, needs and your boundaries.
She sounds like she is emotionally intelligent tbh. She is telling you, if you don't want to answer tell her, but I think you need to ask yourself why you're not comfortable answering.
If you're intimate with someone, why is them asking you about STIs not ok with you?
Cooks rarely, sweeps rarely and when she cleans she makes sure that I help her even though when I do it, she takes rest cause she's tired from work.
She said that the old friend came to pick her up and that they went somewhere. I asked, “Where?” and she told me that it wasn't any of my business.
This makes no sense. Anyway dump
The validity of the reasons rests squarely on ‘do you want to let go?’ And the answer is yes, so that’s it. You don’t need our permission to cut off someone who was a bad influence in your life. If you want, make plans with the few people in the group you’re still close to, be clear what’s going on for you and that/if you still want to stay friends with them.
Fr a lot of redditors r sheep. They jus blindly follow each other n consume the majority opinion as their own without even using their brain to process for themselves as individuals. Autonomous ?
He's wrong. Boyfriend and girlfriend and fiance do not have to spend every second together. Not sure what his reasons are. But you're not wrong. You need space and time to yourself. And if he can't respect that, that's a very big red flag . And I would halt your engagement right there and then.
I didn’t realize that I learned that information outside of this post until you asked that question. I’m not sure how to link to it but if you click their profile, it’s there 🙂
There’s a saying, “when someone shows you who they are, believe them”. She is showing you who and what she is. She’s emotionally manipulating you and she doesn’t have a problem with lying about her actions, but even more importantly she’s trying to blame you for things that she has made up in her head happened and taken away your rights to privacy so she can continue to do it. You don’t want that kind of relationship, if you have anxiety now you’re going to be a basket case by the time she’s done with you. You deserve better, you don’t treat a friend like this much less a loved one. Think about that.
Yes absolutely, I never doubted my friends and family to be fair!! I just needed some objectivity as my lovely friends and family would support me no matter what I did, so it helps to have people who don’t know or care about me to comment on this
After all this your take away is “I shouldn't of ambushed him”…. are you missing the point or are truly believing you had the right to speak to her to begin with?
Honestly, him telling you that he felt “friendly feelings” for you was his feedback. Just keep doing you. Keep dating, and keep getting to know different people. It just sounds like he didn't feel any sparks/chemistry (which is fine!)
When it's right, then it's right (and mutual for both parties), gl with everything though!