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Babe, do not tell him and find a away to move on
He was a cheater. Always needed to know where I was. He needed to go through my phone. But I couldn’t touch his. He could text whoever he wanted but I couldn’t text my brother. He at one point believed that my brother wasn’t my brother and we were fucking around. He was always on dating sites. Looking for girls. Said he loved me but I didn’t give him enough sex. The list goes on and on.
He would tell me he cheated because on me. That his cheating meant nothing but sex. He was “captain save a h03” and would help every female but won’t help his own family.
“An ex that i was still having feelings with” damn this makes it even worse ?
I don't know about that first one. Like every other person I know is a progressive with conservative parents who just out of nowhere regularly say racist, sexist and homophobic things. And that's not even getting into basic personality issues and other things. There is a reason there are entire forums dedicated to dealing with in laws. Not trying to scare OP but really the best you can say about that is who knows how it will go with them.
If you participated in cheating, whether it was obvious at the time or not, and that person is now lying to their partner and getting married… it IS YOUR BUSINESS.
And the partner deserves to know, you crazy mfer. Grow some morals. Sheesh.
God only knows the shit you’d let slide if nobody kept you in check. Do you even understand basic ethics? Who in their right mind would allow someone else to MARRY, for the rest of their lives, a person who isn’t worth marrying?
Come on. Basic decency is dead, and you have proved that.
The question I would ask first is “Has she asked you to specifically wear this kind of underwear and has she ever expressed an interest in it?”
If not, I'd go for a expensive pair of designer trunk style underpants and hit her up while you're in a suit – or something tailored that involves good fitting pants and a nice crisp white shirt with rolled sleeves. And I'm not talking stripper pants or shirt. Just good, smart, well fitted, clean and crisp clothes.
This post makes me very angry. It's infuriating that YOU end up feeling the worst, it seems, when you didn't do anything wrong. And those 2 are clearly the worst… Jesus christ… I hope the BIL ends up miserable and alone. I hope the young girl realizes her mistakes as she grows up, but also gets what's coming to her as well. I hope it all goes down in flames. Fuck.
“I feel like this guy took away so much from me, she was my best friend and my guardian Angel I called her and now I can never look at her the same ever again just because he couldn’t be faithful to his wife and keep it in his pants.”
OP, your “angel” can't keep her legs closed. They're both in the wrong here. I think blackmailing is not wise; it may get back to you in the wrong way (but you definitely need to tell his wife). The shit is done. And the most important question is, will you be able to do her knowing this fat fuck was in there?
“I know she was stressed during those times as well, but I feel this guy took advantage of her, and there is absolutely no excuse.”
Close to 2 years! NO, OP, you are giving her an excuse. She was a willing participant.
Thank you so much for the reply. I’ve been thinking about something like this because at this point the conversations we’re having don’t feel like they’re working and really they feel traumatizing for both of us. I might even just box up her stuff and mail it to her as I know in any kind of interaction she’s going to try to push my buttons any way she can to get me to stay. I’m very empathetic so when she does this it’s naked for me to walk away. And I wouldn’t be surprised if she is the kind of person who would show up at my place demanding to talk. But I guess blocking her is the best I could do unless I go out of town for a while.
Thank you for encouraging this, it helps me feel better about it.
That's kinda what i was thinking too but how do i bring that up without sounding like an asshole?
You’ve got 13 days.
This may be a stretch (I’m a lot older than you) but one way to help calm things down would be for you both to agree that you won’t have “discussions” over text.
I’m not making any kind of excuses for her – but what exactly does she mean “she believes you don’t care as much as you should”
The only way to settle that is through actual verbal communication aka a talking to each other face to face and making eye contact while you talk.
You can ask her “what exactly do you mean and what do you need from me ?”
You’re not a mind reader, if she’s not specific with her complaints how are you supposed to react ?
If you plan to be together when you’re done your training ….. (however long that is) try to focus on just the next 13 days and leaving for your training on good terms. You can do that as a couple and do what’s right for your baby.
I completely agree with what you are saying. Unfortunately my gf doesn't really have any hobbies and doesn't hang out with her friends much. She will get interested in some stuff here and there, but noting ever seems to stick. For the cleaning and errands, I will try to do some of that stuff during the week especially if I have a practice coming up. And on top of that I will still come home and do my share after practice.
Of course she's not gonna include all the dynamics of the relationship and the fact she doesn't sleep with the man she married.. rather spends more time with her other partner. Also conveniently left out her husband obviously can't get over his love for her to even participate in the open part she forced onto him because he wasn't comfortable with her kinks…
because if she did then we would see the bigger picture of WHY he got scammed so damn easily by a woman who actually gave him attention and validation.
This is a you issue. You can ask him to unfollow people but that is controlling and not a good behaviour. What you need to do is realise he is choosing to be with you and try and not get jealous. It is ok for him to find others attractive, it is not OK for him to make comments about how attractive others are – but it doesn't sound like he is doing that.
Try and find some self help videos or resources so that you can work on your insecurities.
Haha! Living at home did wonders for the wallet- so I was just lucky parents didn’t mind. I had a reality check (read meltdown) when I was 21 and saw how much I would be able to get for a loan on a single person’s salary so was in saving mode. I was doing 50% save, 10% emergency fund, 30% use, 10% gifts. (Switch emergency fund to investing when you have 6mth to a year of expenses covered or whatever you’re comfortable with, + some other adjustments). I can’t remember what I looked up but there’s a lot of good resources on-line to help structure your savings.
Possible he just doesn't want to say too much at work?
Possible he has a gf or is gay?
I really don't know. What I do know is that with “casual” shit you really can't have any expectations for their behavior. Just take what comes as it comes yk, don't invest too much into this guy who doesn't reciprocate.
Find yourself a partner that doesn't have full-on meltdowns over nothing.
If you are in a relationship …for the serious topics, wouldn’t you talk with your partner/spouse about it? I everything I share to my gfs, they tell their husbands.