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Haha man i wish thanks though
Aside from your issues with your husband, it is strange that you chose to keep your finances separate. That’s like a bad omen. Like you’re not all the way committed.
Nothing is off limits with my husband because he is my absolute and number one best friend
At this moment, you might find it helpful to be introduced to “The Narcissist's Prayer”
That didn't happen And if it did, it wasn't that bad. And if it was, that's not a big deal. And if it is, that's not my fault. And if it was, I didn't mean it. And if I did, you deserved it.
Does any of this ring true for you?
The best thing you can do is protect yourself. You are doing the right thing. She is really trying to do a number on you.
You do not have to contact her. You do not owe her your time or attention. You have the right to decide how to spend your emotional energy.
May peace be with you.
So it was a mutual break-up? If yes then I can agree that you can stay friends.
It sounds like this relationship is dead.
One thing that sticks for me, is how you are resentful that you've done work on her crappy house and you see that as an investment, and won't get any return on that investment if you leave.
But presumably the stuff you've mended, you've enjoyed the consequences of mending it already. OK if you leave, she will continue to benefit from that and you won't. But it is not such a huge investment right? You haven't been rebuilding entire walls have you? more like putting in wiring that won't short-circuit or replacing a broken stair?
Because if you've been rebuilding the entire house, well you should have both paid for the materials.
If, as I think, it's just modest repairs, then you should reframe that as your contribution. The house is hers, and you've been living rent-free in it, it's only fair that you should help out with repairs and maintenance.
I’m surprised so many comments are telling you to try to talk this out? And see if she’ll stop?? How is this not cheating? No person of sound mind would think this would be acceptable behaviour in a monogamous relationship without prior discussion
It's wrong what he did and in my opinion, super creepy. Glad he's at least putting up the front of willing to go to therapy but the fact of the matter is, your husband is a perv. He has private pictures of YOUR TWIN SISTER!
How you didn't slap him upside the head or run over his belongings in your car is beyond me. He's lied to you, backstabbed you, broke your trust and self esteem.
You need to really sit and think if you're willing to go through this again if you decide to stay, because there's always a chance you'll catch him again. I don't think anyone will blame you if you leave, this crosses way too many boundaries.
Two options in my mind. Divorce now or go to counseling to work it out probably first alone to get your thoughts and feelings straight. Then couple if you want to. This could still end in divorce but I'm assuming you want to think through it instead of reacting rashly.
Ultimately it's up to you as it's your life and relationship. Just know divorce is usually permanent and fairly tales don't really happen. But your going to be the one in the relationship not me.
Found OP's shitty boyfriend ☝️
From my experience, someone like that won’t just abandon you for a major illness. He won’t take care of you when you have a cold. He’ll go out of town when you’re feeling depressed. He’ll cheat on you because you can’t have sex for 6 weeks after giving birth. People don’t just change who they are because of 1 diagnosis. They lack the ability to care for and have have empathy for others from the very start.
You don’t want to be compared and then quite literally forced her to compare? Dude you need therapy and to be single until you can get past your excessive insecurities
PS- many women agree that big dicks are a novelty and they’d never want a long term relationship with someone who has a very large member. Being sore and having your cervix punched gets old fast.
It’s only been 3 months. I personally, once in a serious committed relationship, would ask he delete photos of his ex off social media. I just would prefer it. But I wouldn’t be looking to ask that at 3 months in. You guys at 3 months are at a precarious time, a lot of relationships run out at about 3 months. You’re still early. I’m talking, he’s in love with you and wants to marry you or an equivalent. Then, say hey, for me, I don’t like the ex photos on your social media. It would be a small ask of a man you are committed with. He might think it petty but we all have quirks and it’s not unreasonable in that setting.
My kid is a toddler so isn’t making me cards or whatever so my partner woke up, made me breakfast in bed, brought up flowers, had a card and little treats. It’s a small but lovely gesture that doesn’t take much planning/cost/effort.
It is an opportunity to thank your partner for their emotional and domestic labour and he couldn’t even admit he dropped the ball
$800 a month for a car is completely nuts! Are you underwater? Can you sell it and get something cheaper? As for the pets, they should be family, but you are not responsible humans. They should all be spayed/neutered; if you're near LA, its actually illegal to have an unfixed adult pet without a permit. So you're right, they might be better off elsewhere. If you're going to keep them, please get them fixed before you start having unwanted litters.
while he is in the wrong and inconsiderate, not providing any compromise at all like what you are doing, most people would get “love” somewhere else. you think because you are right morally means everyone around you will abide to the same rule. no, human are human. if desire are not satisfy by you, desire will get satisfy by someone else. rules be damn. that is the reality.
if this is the hill you want to lay on, if this is the reason you want a divorce over, then so be it. but don’t say no one have warn you bc i just did. people have limit.
Share finances.
Its actually 6 years, I just had my birthday. But its not thats not the point anyway.
He doesn't expect me to not have relationships. He himself had gfs before me. And he was okay with my flings at the beginning.
Anyway, thanks for your input but I came to realise this is about how his ex treated him. I realised the parallels he saw and most likely he doesn't want to accept she still has an effect on him. He started going therapy and I am supporting him. And only time will tell if our relationship will work.
I understand that, but this specific account utilizes it so much. The only reason I called it out is because I recognized the specific username from commenting it often. I mean, c'mon, 13 times in the last two weeks? On various subs? Usually not even giving any advice to the matter at hand?
Just odd to me that the user cares so much that they feel the need to trigger a script to get a notification when OP gives more information on how he dealt with an awkward/uncomfortable situation with his girlfriend. The story itself isn't even particularly noteworthy. And I'm sure it doesn't make OP feel good that some random acc is following the story for updates like it's a serialized TV drama.
Deep to him sounds pretty shallow
I would argue that this is a huge deal, and would be a dealbreaker for me. To me, this isn't about the make-up section, but speaks to his values and whether you two are compatible. If he reacts that way to standing in the make up section, how does he view you in the relationship? Are you his equal and have equal say in decisions that affect both of you, or is he the “man of the house” and wants to make all of the decisions? Is he willing to help you cook, clean, take care of any children (if you choose to have them), or take care of you when you're sick OR is that all “women's work” and something only beta males do? What are his values on cheating? Is he the type who thinks “men have needs and can't help it”? Does he respect the LGBT+ community or actively hateful? Toxic masculinity is destructive in so many aspects of a relationship. If he's acting like this now, I imagine a future where you're doing 100% of the emotional and physical labor in the household.