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  1. I believe that too, she knew it and she didn' wanted to admit it for fear of confrontation.

    I'd lie if I say that I feel the closure at 100% (but well, it's very fresh), however I have to admit that I'm handling it better than I tought, because I suspected she doesn't have any real interest or feeling towards me and this proved me incredibly right.

  2. I mean, if a friend of mine told me they do this, I would not consider that person a friend. It’s an enormous violation of just natural boundaries.

  3. We’re Canadian… boys trips are to Mexico, Atlanta, Vegas since we’ve been together.

    I have to clarify, I don’t want anyone to be a “piggy bank” to me. I would always pay my own share of any expenses. I just want a partner who will be down/able to pull their share and have the same enthusiasm to go as well.

  4. Run. Sounds like a psycho. You will spend the majority of time consoling her and her insecurities. It’s draining and it’s depressing.

  5. That is early for the menopause. Not saying it never happens! Average menopause is fifty-ish. Peri is also difficult to diagnose- I and lots of women I know were tested and it came back negative, only to experience real thing two months later. There is also a downside to labelling every woman perimenopausal who is depressed etc. By all means she should get tested.

  6. Hopefully it takes you less years than my friend.

    The thing with addiction is that most people won’t want to change until they have hit rock bottom. When they realize that they cannot rely on anyone else but themselves to pull themself back up. A lot of people have this realization. But not everyone. Some people never get better.

    Right now, you are his net that keeps him from hitting rock bottom. You could give him an ultimatum. “Get help or I’m leaving.” But the problem with ultimatums is that unless you follow through on the negative consequences, it doesn’t mean anything. It’s just another reinforcer that you will always be there, so he won’t have to change, he can take the path of least resistance.

    But you know what the other problem is with ultimatums in these situations? Is that it usually forces the person with substance use issues to try to get better for the other person, and not for themselves. We cannot create lasting meaningful change for the sake of others until we really and truly want that change for ourselves. So I say, no ultimatums. Just leave. Leave before you turn around and realize it’s been ten years. Before you’re stuck trying to pay off thousands of dollars of medical debt accumulated from treatments, hospitalizations, etc. Before your friends have to spend the night at your house, in your bed with you because you are so distraught that they’re afraid you’ll hurt yourself.

    His addiction isn’t about you. He’s not ready to face it yet, and there’s not a thing you can do to change that for him. He has to want it himself.

  7. Sounds like your girlfriend doesn’t like the quiz stuff and is why she wants to cancel that portion. Other than food and drinks what else would there be in cost? If you covered everything then it would be moot.

    It does sound like your girlfriend is being entitled. Has this happened before? What is her alternative plan for Friday then?

  8. This is a lie… us guys know disrespect when we ser it. You just chose to blame your fiance instead of having her back!

  9. I want to know if he yells when they have these arguments. Being yelled at makes me panic and I almost hyperventilate. No one yells at me anymore, not at work, but sometimes voices would get raised in arguments in relationships I've been in before and those situations I shut down and have thrown up from it.

  10. I would kill someone over less with my daughter. Grow a spine and protect your daughter from your horrible wife.

    Maybe even consider divorce. Not sure why you thought having multiple kids with someone who fights an 11 year old girl was a good idea. Yikes

  11. I have thought long and hard about this, trust me. And while many of the comments such as yours have helped me rationalise and grounded me, I have realised that many comments are overthinking the situation just as I have been. I was writing exams, I didn’t have the capacity to go out and sleep around nor the time to see her, she was having fun. Nothing wrong with that.

    A coffee for goodness sake… that’s not a first date. The coffee excursion was a test of the waters. For her and I both. Nothing significant. Nothing out of the world special. That came at a later time when I took her out for dinner, that is the point in which we both decided on each other, and it was something I could feel, something she could feel too, and something we both feel up until this very second. People may say I’m giving myself a confidence speech or hyping myself up, but I am not, when you know you know.

    Next time the coffee excursion is brought up, I will explain that it has no significance to me. I have accepted the past, now it is time to forget.

    Your comment is appreciated and I will probably delete this post soon. Because that I feel, will be the first step to forgetting.


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