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  1. Yes, because it's not the kind of advice you wanted to hear/read.

    Another advice and maybe you'll like this one better: Don't listen to anyone's advice and just do what you think is best. But… If you don't want to listen to the advice people give you on here, you shouldn't have asked.

  2. Frankly not worth the effort. OP doesn’t need to teach her a lesson. He just needs to get clear of her with as little drama as possible. You don’t yell at the trash bag when you chuck it in the can.

  3. You broke up with the guy because of his shitty behavior and here he is showing you more shitty behavior. He should be bending over backwards to please you but instead he's making demands? WTF?

  4. Yes, it’s called negging. It’s meant to break your spirit and make you feel like you can’t do anything without his help. He wants you to be dependent on him by convincing you you can’t think for yourself.

  5. u/simpformidoriya-, it looks like you're trying to post a throwaway submission. Your account is too young and/or your comment karma is too low.

    The right way to do it is to create a brand new Reddit account that begins with ThrowRA.

    Please create a new account that starts with ThrowRA in the username and try again. Please note that we will not make exceptions to this rule.

    I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

  6. Well son, you've got yourself a real bitch there. And speaking of there, clearly she didnt want you there.

    So the question you need to ask yourself is why? And be honest with yourself when you answer it.

  7. u/MarzipanNo2645, it looks like you're trying to post a throwaway submission. Your account is too young and/or your comment karma is too low.

    The right way to do it is to create a brand new Reddit account that begins with ThrowRA.

    Please create a new account that starts with ThrowRA in the username and try again. Please note that we will not make exceptions to this rule.

    I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

  8. I’ll be nice. No matter what your ages, separating with children and being a single mother is hot. There is no advice to make it better. You are taking positive steps to prepare for you and your children to succeed. Of course both children love their father but they will still see him and he will be part of their lives. Children do better in separate homes rather in one unhappy one. You know you are still very young but as you gain more confidence, drive, get a job and your own apartment, things will fall into place. Your relationship with him will get better too as you learn to co-parent and realize the children are the priority. There are programs for your age, you just have to keep looking. So take one day at a time and it will get better. You are actually amazing that you are doing what needs to be done for your future. The best of luck to you!

  9. Shouting at a crying baby to shut up is not a sign of a good and stable parent. I mean…I get it as a kind of frustration one-off, but as a regular thing? No. And wanting a second baby while still suffering from PPD from the first? Also no. Threatening to leave ( or force you to leave) keep the baby from seeing you and destroying things is both manipulative and dangerous.

    Depression IS hot. That means you try to get her help. It does NOT mean that you subject a child to her unstable behavior and anger. It is not a loving act to enable destructive behavior or to stay in a bad relationship “for the child”.

    She is already using the baby during arguments and getting physical. This sounds like more than depression. I am honestly worried about you and the baby. Even if she never hits you or the baby, this kind of behavior can really escalate. Trust me. We are over 17 years (YEARS) into a string of court cases, CPS reports, false accusations of rape, mental institutions (for the kid – not her mother, sadly), medical abuse (almost Munchausen by proxy), tens of thousands of dollars…likely well over $100k in legal fees, etc. Because my husband’s ex-girlfriend and baby mama could not stand it that he broke up with her. She did some of the same things you are talking about in your post. She has done her level best to ruin my husband, our marriage, my children, my husband’s relationship with his other child and doesn’t give a shit that she nearly destroyed her own daughter in the process. They broke up almost 18 years ago (before they knew about the pregnancy) and she still can’t let it go. Kid is preparing for college!

    Tell her to get help or get out. It’s the safest thing you can do for yourself and the baby. Document, record if you can-her destructive behavior to help you get custody…even though there may still be trouble.(my husband has had primary physical custody for 14 years…didn’t stop the lies, manipulation etc so be prepared).

    Good luck…but seriously, don’t continue to online like this. A lot of very bad things happen in 20% of the time.

  10. First and foremost, he IS using these things as manipulation tactics. Regardless of his background, you need to understand that he's abusive all around; physically and emotionally, and the only answer is that you get out as quickly and as safely as possible. You're not trapped. I'm certain when you say it's over, he'll threaten himself, which I imagine is your fear. Unfortunately, that's not on you. You don't stay with someone because of a threat. Your life matters too. You're objectively miserable and again, you're being abused.

    To quickly talk about him, I certainly sympathize about his past and his family life. It's absolutely awful. But it's not an excuse to treat you the way he does. He needs serious help. He's refusing to get it. You can't help someone who won't help themselves. So please get out and never look back. Good luck.

  11. Your wife is in the wrong here. Lots of us have fat grandmas and are completely fine. She’s creating an issue where there isn’t one. She’s just being mean AF.

  12. My guess is this is not gonna work out. The BF parent dynamic is not sustainable.

    Maybe you need some time on your own

  13. Your posts are seriously the only realistic ones here. I’ll never understand the Reddit trend of assuming that people were victimized and groomed despite being adults capable of making-and living with the consequences of-selfish and revolting decisions.

  14. As the title suggests, I’m looking for feedback and suggestions about how to strike a balance between being thankful for a gift but also expressing the disappointment when the gift is at odds with something you’d want, and surprised your partner (who is otherwise normally really great) would pick something they know is problematic.

  15. Nobody else is going to be able to answer this for you. Only you can decide what it is that you need. However The number one cause of relationships ending is sexual incompatibility. The fact is it's a very complicated part of every single person but is just as important as every other part of a relationship. Who knows, maybe he's asexual. He's still pretty young so it wouldn't be surprising at all. I mean I can only speak for myself, but I would have to be significantly non-physically attracted to a person to turn down every bit of physical contact, including something just like receiving oral sex. I can't imagine why I would date someone that I was that unattracted to. So in the opinion of this particular stranger, it seems a lot more likely to me that he's asexual and either hasn't really realized it yet or just hasn't addressed that part of himself yet. It would make a lot more sense than the alternative.

  16. Let's be real…. LDRs do not come without complications. They are insanely challenging to navigate.

    The issue in your relationship is hot to decipher, especially when it could be that the distance has finally taken a toll on her.

    So, instead of being combative… take the time to understand her side and why she arrived at her current POV… and to do that, it takes gentle communication to pry information that is affecting her side.

  17. I disagree that I'm incredibly shallow. I just have preferences, like anyone. And we are sexually incompatible.

    I agree that there is nothing wrong with her body.

    I disagree that I am the problem. Sometimes there is not a bad guy and a good guy. Sometimes people are not made for each other.

    Finally, some or many women who are not pornstars have the labia inside. Your information is incorrect.

  18. It is unacceptable behaviour. But you're making it out like he sat down and planned this. More likely it was a heat of the moment thing. He was hurt, and lashed out at her in response without giving it any thought.

    Now if this happened often, OR the thing he said was more serious like bodyshaming or threats of violence, then I would say he needs to do way more work on himself and would hope the other person would get out of the relationship.

    But all he did was essentially call her manipulative and likened her to her mother.

    Pretty tame stuff.

  19. This is how they decided to split the money, so saying after the fact that she cannot spend it or doesn't have it because he doesn't like how she is going to use it is controlling!

  20. I don’t know why these individuals are telling you to chill. He lied. He’s 40 something, not a child, he lied for a reason. I’m in my 40s and I’m too old for this bullshit. Sorry Op, but I would be out. I’m honest, and I expect my SO to respect me enough to be as well. They may very well be friends, but… him being deceptive would make me feel that they’re something more. Good luck.

  21. You're welcome, girl. Just remember that people will only treat us the way we allow them to. Even if he contacts you make sure he's genuine and so is his effort. Your life ain't a rollercoaster he can get on and off from as he pleases.

  22. I can understand why you're so confused and blindsided, because I'm confused too. I keep thinking there must be an underlying reason. She sounds like she's being pretty fair to you as well.

    Did she have a problem with your ex maybe and was afraid of having to have her in her life? Does she think you still have feelings for your ex and is trying to prepare for what she thinks is inevitable?

  23. I dealt with a younger person who did the same thing (share traumatic childhood story to hold me emotionally hostage).

    Go no contact asap! This is going to be terrible for you in long run.

  24. It sounds like her moral compass is broken and based on her reaction to not getting her way made up lies that she knows you can’t confirm just to hurt you. Fuck her. Time to go NC.

    Honor your boyfriend’s memory by reflecting on the lovely memories you shared with him. Don’t put any stock into what she says and move on with life. She’s not worth it.

  25. I understand your dilemma. I had to go through almost exactly the same thing. I felt guilty for not wanting my father in my life, until a really wise teacher suggested that someone who appears out of nowhere and badgers you for ANYTHING is only interested in what they can get. YOU KNOW THIS ABOUT HIM. Do not spend another minute “figuring out” what anyone wants who behaves this way. It's low level gorilla badgering to get the last banana kind of stuff. All his ego AGAIN nothing to do with you. Ritual helps though, so I suggest what I did. I showed up at his job at quitting time and in the waiting room, with people milling about, I told him that I didn't want to hear from or about him. No calls, texts, letters, others speaking for him, ever again as long as I lived. I told him that despite what he wants, I'd never been on that “things he wants” list and he now resides in my personal trash heap. I told him that anyone who attempts to contact me about my life events will deal with a police officer investigating harrassment. Period. Zero access. You lose. No. Done. Finished. Doing it in public keeps him in check and gives you the opportunity to say anything at all that you want. He will be paying very close attention because you are in his place of business. Then leave. If he reaches to touch you to stop you, really holler DON'T TOUCH ME, but I doubt he will do it. So far he thinks he can aggress toward you any way he chooses. Make it public, record it as you speak with your phone on him, and leave nothing out. This remains the single most satisfying thing I've ever done in my life and I was shaking the entire time. But it finished it. Forever.

  26. Yes. I was pretty flexible already from dance training for many yrs. Only thing I didnt do was head stands. I tried one recently & ouch my neck.

  27. Ok-don’t read it?? I never get why people oust themselves as being lazy and ignorant on a Reddit specifically designed for actionable advice.

    But Jesus. Two people denied me him, and it inspired something in me. Like. Ahhh, shit.

    I think I might just stay bizarre and creepy..

    Yeah, I just realized I don’t give a shit!

    I don’t need this stupid post ???‍♀️ Fuck this!

    I’m going to rock this guys fucking world. Whew.

  28. My advice to you is don’t get back with a cheater unless you wanna get cheated on again because that’s what’s gonna happen

  29. College friends have lunch together and you have somehow decided the guy is “moving in on OP's wife?”

    What kind of fucked up view is that?


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